There are so many products, services, and even medications that claim to be the solution for your atrophying sex life. But, according to new research out of Israel (and also, we’d argue, to common sense), the best way to keep things exciting in the sack, for both men and women, is through a healthy, responsive relationship outside of the bedroom.
Paying attention to your partner is hot.
“Our research shows that partners who are responsive to each other outside the bedroom are able to maintain their sexual desire,” said Gurit Birnbaum, the study’s coauthor and a psychology professor at the Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) in Herzliya, Israel.
It’s a welcome bit of news, too, that our sex lives can be rekindled with a little care and compassion, no purchase necessary.
“Responsive partners are willing to invest resources in the relationship, and show understanding at a deep level,” the study’s press release said.
The study gathered results from three experiments, one conducted online, one in person and one via a six-week diary kept by couples. What researchers discovered was that, for both men and women, there was a direct link between feeling like your partner genuinely cares about you and feeling like you want to jump them.
The correlation was stronger among females, but still prevalent among males. Intimacy in location A affects intimacy in location B. Makes sense, right?
We can think of a handful of times in our own lives when this rang true. Like picking up takeout for dinner (a bottle of wine for bonus points) after a stressful day? Uh, yes, please. Even simple things, like checking in with your partner to ask how they’re doing shows a level of caring that equates to desire in the bedroom.
So, it’s simple, you guys: special relationships mean special sex lives. Show your partner in crime you care! Be present! You’ll get that one-of-a-kind relationship feeling we all desire, and plus, something more behind closed doors, too.
WATCH: Here are eight tips to help you have more satisfying sex.