Gucci’s latest footwear creation is shattering the “socks and sandals” rule, and we’re not so sure that’s a good idea. The only people we’re okay with wearing socks and sandals are our grandparents and pregnant women (they’re growing a human in their body, they can do anything they want).
The Italian fashion house is calling them the Isle Sock Sandal, but we’re calling them plain silly.
The four-and-a-quarter-inch heels are currently available for pre-order online at Nordstroms. We tried adding a size 8.5 to our shopping bag, and it looks like these bad boys will ship mid-May. So, if you must have a pair of red patent strappy sandals with cream-coloured latex zip sock, you’ll have to be patient (and quite bold).
Frankly, we’re feeling confused. Are we supposed to wear a pair of cotton socks underneath the latex ones? We have many questions, and so does the internet, the unofficial arbiter of everything.
The Gucci Sock Sandal: For the woman whose fluid protoplasm body must be poured into a semblance of human flesh.https://t.co/SLsuYfFyZS
— Alexander Freed (@AlexanderMFreed) March 17, 2017
— Birdpoof 📎 (@Birdpoof) March 19, 2017
r u drunk?
— Allie Caren (@alLISTENc) March 17, 2017
The price tag is just as questionable as the design itself: nearly $1,600 (when converted to Canadian dollars, before shipping, of course). We can think of a few ways to better spend $1,600. Like, maybe buying 160,000 penny candies and microwaving them as an experiment, donating it to absolutely any charity, exchanging it for USD and making 1,200 $1 paper airplanes, or just straight wrapping our feet in $50 bills. All of those make about as much sense as this “streamlined take on the sock-with-sandals trend” as Nordstrom calls it.
But some people are digging Gucci’s two-in-one heeled sandal–such are the ways of fashion. “Sock Sandals have saved my life. My feet think they are wearing a boot, but my mind thinks I’m wearing a sandal! Best of both worlds! Win win!” one user exclaimed, as reported by Today. (It is hard to pick up on sarcasm in the written word, so this may be a disingenuous comment.)
It’s safe to say that if we do decided to embrace this trend, we’ll be wearing a pair of cotton socks with our regular old plastic thongs or Birkenstocks rather than spending an entire pay cheque on these plastic-and-leather atrocities.
Sorry, Gucci. We love you, but try again.