There are some days where it seems nothing can go wrong. You’re looking good, feeling good, the kids are behaving, work and home are being handled. And then there are days where everything sucks, like every two steps forward you take, something sets you back 10. You’d love to just go back to bed and let the hours pass you by but you can’t. Because people are counting on you.
Model and body positivity ambassador Tess Holliday is known for being a badass, in her personal life and in her career. She’s invited us in many times, with an Instagram feed full of glamorous photos of her on modelling gigs, selfies with her fiancé, Nick Holliday, and adorable pics of her two sons, Rylee, 11, and eight-month-old Bowie.
On Sunday, Tess opened up in a powerful post. She gets raw and honest and shows her vulnerablility, sending a message that doesn’t always get shared. With tears running down her makeup-free face, Holliday’s words about the pressure of juggling work and family will hit home.
This is the reality of being a mom. I’ve been up since 3 am, & every time I get Bowie to sleep & try to lay him down, he wakes up. He is teething & has no clue I have to work today, & most days I can work 15 hour days, take care of both boys & put some lipstick on & deal with it. Most days I drink my coffee & smile at every little thing he does thinking it’s the best thing in the world, but not today. I’ve been crying for nearly two hours, & I’m crying as I write this. I’ve reached my limit, exceeded it to be honest. My confidence has taken a blow with this birth & it wasn’t until this morning I realized why. The pressure of “looking good” for a living is too much today. When your face is breaking out from the hormones of breastfeeding + total exhaustion from lack of sleep, bags under your eyes, patchy red skin & to top it off no energy to work out or leave my bed.. how do you do it? How do you feel confident in your skin & feel like you aren’t letting the client down by showing up exhausted & disheveled? Yes, I chose a career based on my looks & I’m the first one to say that beauty isn’t what should drive you, it’s certainly not what motivates me. As a working mom in an industry that’s as critical as mine, where is the line? The balance? The compassion? Is any career understanding when you show up at negative 10% because your kids wouldn’t let you sleep & you want to hide under your covers & cry? Not many. I hope one day that changes & society views mothers as the flawed human beings we are that are just trying to keep our shit together like everyone else. #effyourbeautystandards #workingmoms #disruptperfectmomsyndrome
It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, whether you’re a model, cashier, accountant, teacher, barista or rocket scientist, any mom who’s ever suffered any kind of sleep deprivation because of their babies or children can totally relate. Sooooo, every mom basically. But it’s what we do. We do what we have to do because sh*t needs to get done — but that doesn’t mean we have to have our sh*t together all the time.
Life doesn’t always run like a well-oiled machine so, as Tess wrote, it would be great if society changed their views on moms having to be these superwomen who aren’t supposed to break down every once in a while. Tess’ post is a reminder that this is what real life is for so many women. So if you see a mom having a rough day, feel for her, and cut her some slack. Because she can only do so much.
Breastfeed anywhere ✊🏻 Thank you to my friend @jessicalouiseimagery for capturing this moment during today’s @womensmarchla 💕 #normalizebreastfeeding #womensmarchla My earrings are @doodad_and_fandango 🚺 Edited to add: Those saying that I should “cover up” You mean when I’m breastfeeding MY baby who was a) hungry & b) screaming because he was overly tired & the crowd overloaded his senses & it was the only way to comfort him?! I will feed my child anywhere I want. Also CA state law protects me to do so. Keep your uneducated opinions off my body.