Welcome to the latest intallment of the Social Suggests—you ask, we answer—and this latest query comes from a young woman who would prefer to remain anonymous.
“My best friend doesn’t like my boyfriend. He has never cheated on me or done anything horrible –I think it’s just a clash of personalities. She hasn’t expressed this outright but she’ll invite our other friends’ boyfriends out but not him. She cuts me off whenever I try to talk about him. I can tell she doesn’t like him. These are the two most important people in my life. Should I break up with him because she doesn’t like him? What should I do?”
Oh dear. It sounds like your best friend is trying to send you a message, only instead of using words, she’s making her point via her actions.
This is a bit lazy, if you ask me. That’s not necessarily a criticism: It’s not exactly easy to tell someone you love that you don’t like the person they’ve chosen to love. She risks throwing your friendship into chaos.
So help her out. Ask her if your suspicions are correct. “I get the sense that you don’t like [insert boyfriend’s name]. I hope this isn’t the case, but if I’m correct, why?”
Maybe she’ll be completely surprised and have a good explanation at the ready for her behaviour, like never wanting to talk about him, or excluding him from social outtings. And don’t feel bad if you misread her. I certainly have done this: where I think friends have been mad or disappointed with me and it turns out that they weren’t even thinking about me at all! They were just having a bad day, or a bad series of days. (Lesson: I am not the centre of everyone’s universe.)
And maybe you’re right. Maybe she has concerns about your relationship with this guy, or she flat out doesn’t enjoy his company. If she is indeed your best friend, listen to what she has to say. She probably knows you very well. Listen to her. Talk to her. Trust her.
Better yet, tune in at 1:00 p.m. to see what our co-hosts have to say.