This cotton candy pink we’re seeing everywhere is one of Pantone’s colours of the year—they call it Rose Quartz. And off-shoots of the hue are popping up all over the red carpets in Tinseltown. So it’s not really surprising that celebs and their expert stylists who lurk behind the scenes are wearing this hazy hue. The problem is, it can easily look Stepford Wife crazy, like bubble-gum-caught-in your-hair crazy.
And when already-cutesy Hollywood stars like Jennifer Garner wear it, they run the risk of looking like creepy dolls—the ones you’d make your parents turn away from you bed at nighttime, so you could fall asleep. There is a line, and this week they crossed it…and they weren’t alone.
Natalie Portman and Jennifer Garner went to Cotton Candy Land
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Jennifer Garner
This is what happens when good girls wear pink. Jennifer Garner has one of those faces that’s so sweet that you just want to pinch her cheeks, regardless of your age in relation to hers. That’s why, when she wears things like this bubble-gum pink prom dress, she looks like a kindergarten teacher about to go on a date…with another kindergarten teacher. Too sweet, sickly so. Getty Images
Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria looked borderline funeral in this flowy black bundle. We say borderline because the short maxi skirt she’s wearing under the translucent black layers suggests she’s going clubbing. Either way, we’re mourning for this outfit. Getty Images
Amanda Markowitz
Amanda Markowitz, another star with the face of a child angel, chose to don a bubble gum pink dress this week. And much like it did on Garner, this colour has the effect of making Markowitz look like she’s about to go rescue puppies or something just as good. The high-neck, and ivory lace overlay add to the piercingly sweet taste. It hurts our cavities. And we don’t even have cavities! Getty Images
Jackie Cruz
The neckline is sexy, and Jackie Cruz has a great bod that she’s excited to show off, but these big, oddly-spaced floral motifs look like unappetizing pieces of popcorn. Maybe we should add butter for an extra fifty cents. Would that help? Getty Images
Jaime King
We’re not saying Jaime King looks like a mime, but we’re not saying she doesn’t look like a mime. It’s a cute, 70s-style, wide-legged jumpsuit, and a cute black turtleneck, but when paired together she looks like a fashion comic.Getty Images
Jorgie Porter
It’s just so close, but so far away. Jorgie Porter could have saved this look by tearing off the mesh fabric from this floral embellished dress. The oversized flowers are on trend, and the deep V-neck is sexy, but the fishnet-like fabric is what takes it from class to trash in an instant. Getty Images
Karlie Kloss
That’s some solid left boob there Karlie. Nicely executed. While we love a red look on the red carpet, Victoria’s Secret Angel Karlie Kloss blends into the background. The super fit supermodel’s body feels lost in such a baggy skirt, and, frankly, we’re worried that those long tassels hanging off the back of her crop top are going to get caught on something.Getty Images
Kelly Rowland
Kelly Rowland’s red carpet outfit looked like it was under construction. The belt reminds us of a crumbling Roman coliseum, and the long, draping see-through garment she’s wearing over top seems like it’s there to cover up the rest. It didn’t, however, cover up her T-Shirt with writing on it. Too bad. Getty Images
Lena Hall
Lena Hall’s white top and blue skirt combo looks ready for a business lunch, not the red carpet. The long-sleeved, cuffed, white collared shirt has upper management written all over it, and the blue and white skirt is playful enough, letting us know she’s not all business. You’re hired, Lena Hall. Now what were you applying for again? Getty Images
Lily Donaldson
While this look is from Balmain—ya know, that brand who sells T-shirts for $1,000—just because it’s designer doesn’t make it good. Lily’s lacy maxi dress-slash-swimsuit hybrid looks like she’s ready for her burlesque debut. But not even a sexy burlesque, more of a tacky one, thanks to the awkward ruffled fabric down her legs. Getty Images
Lupita Nyong'o
Sweet Lupita Nyong’o’s snake-patterned jumper is giving us the heebie-jeebies. We like the cut and the colour and the collar—all very cool and retro—but snakes? Why’d it have to be snakes?Getty Images
Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Mary Elizabeth Winstead almost almost looks good here…but then she reaches over and does up those straps. They look like they’re holding something in or out. Not sure which, but they’re definitely load-bearing. Getty Images
Natalie Portman
Elegant? Sure. Pretty? OK. Boring? Good lord yes! Natalie Portman takes no risk with this light pink overcoat and boring old black tights, and black pointy heels. Spectacularly humdrum. Take your coat off, stay awhile!Getty Images
Nicole Murphy
Nicole Murphy looked like she was channeling another Worst Looks regular, Amber Rose, on the red carpet this week, rocking an exposed midriff and a pair of indoor sunglasses. What makes sunglasses “indoor sunglasses”? Why, when you wear them indoors, of course. Getty Images
Rita Ora
At least she looks comfortable. But this long sleeve velvet coat (is this a coat? It surely can’t be a dress). With its fur cuffs that look like boxing gloves, it’s not red carpet appropriate. Save it for the bedroom—or never—Rita. Getty Images
Sarah Jessica Parker
It almost looks like Sarah Jessica Parker is holding this black blazer up. Too big. And a silver metallic dress paired with bronze metallic booties!? Have you no shame, Carrie Bradshaw!? The actress needs to opt for clothes in her size. Because right now, she looks like a kid playing dress-up in mom’s closet.Getty Images
Sofia Reyes
If you’re wondering if that thing hanging down behind her is part of the wall or part of her outfit, we wish we could tell you it was the former, but, sadly, it was the latter. Getty Images
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