Most kids can’t get enough of a good bounce house. Heck, put some adults in there and they could have just as much fun. There’s something wonderfully freeing about bouncing around uncontrollably that will make anyone grin from ear to ear. Well, except two-year-old Parker. Parker has all the swag, and zero fudgesicles to give.
While most kids are wobbling around in a bounce house, unable to stand on their two feet (like the poor tyke behind him), Parker is simply chilling, hands in pockets. Because, pfft. Who needs hands to brace a fall when you bounce this confidently?
He isn’t even fazed by bodies collapsing all around him.
What’s even more badass is Parker never looks down. Not once. He actually stares down whoever’s recording him, almost taunting them to come at him. And is it just us or does Parker not blink AT ALL? Is he even human, or is he some kind of bouncing baby cyborg, ready to take on the human race?
The video, posted by Parker’s uncle, Todd Blass, is titled “I will never be as cool as my 2 year old nephew in a bounce house,” and a video has never been more aptly named. Because nothing is cooler. NOTHING.
The Fonz? He’s got nothing on The Park.
Drake‘s “Hotline Bling” dancing? Nope, sorry Drizzy.
Dodging bullets, like Neo. Nah, Parker is his own Matrix.
Deadpool, just being Deadpool. Nah, not even close.
This guy? Hmm, close but not quite.
Fearless Girl? OK, now we’re getting somewhere.
How about Chuck Norris?
OK, maaaaaaybe Chuck Norris, who also keeps his hands in his pockets when he’s kicking ass and taking names.