He’s basically house-sitting. Some British Columbians recently came home to find a stranger sitting on their couch with a cup of coffee. The stranger was Christopher Hiscock, 33, from Nova Scotia, who had been working seasonally as a pool cleaner. As the summer came to a close in his home province, Hiscock decided to head west in search of work, stealing a car on his way there (he never fully explained why he did that). But once he arrived in B.C. exhausted and broke, he found refuge in an unoccupied ranch that he decided to live in. He did laundry, fed the horses and cats, and even wrote in the owner’s diary. Soon, the actual residents returned, and Hiscock was put on a one-year probation term.
What do you think happened next? Go ahead, guess! A man in Detroit recently discovered what occurs when you mix fire with gasoline (hint: it’s not good). While pumping fuel into his car, a spider crawled onto the gas tank door. But instead of squishing it or swatting it away, the man decided to instead pull out a lighter and burn it — again, while he was pumping gas. As soon as his lighter ignited, so did everything else. Fortunately, nobody was injured and the man was able to douse the flames with a fire extinguisher. He reportedly apologized the next day.
Looks like The Rapture has finally arrived. Around 25 virgin births have been recorded in the UK over the last five years, but these babies definitely aren’t the product of miracles. Many women are undergoing IVF treatments so they can give birth without having sex in order to save themselves for a “special relationship,” or even bypass the need for men altogether. Religious groups assert this practice is “distorting” the traditional family, and say nature dictates that only a man and woman should be able to have children.
“Hey God, guess what?” Pennsylvania Democrat and Roman Catholic congressman Bob Brady recently broke two of the 10 commandments when he decided to yank the pope’s water. After the pontiff had finished delivering a speech in the U.S., Brady swiped the glass, hurried into his office and downed it behind closed doors. But later on, he decided to brag about it to the press. “How many people do you know that drank out of the same glass as the pope?” he reportedly said. Brady did the same thing after President Obama’s inaugural address.
It can’t be any worse than actual street meat, right? Authorities in Alabama issued an urgent-yet-strange warning following a highway truck crash: Don’t eat the cheese that spilled onto the road. While it’s unclear if anyone was actually seen eating or stealing food from the crash site, the warning posted on Facebook read, “As a result of the incident, the cheese product has been declared salvaged and not fit for human consumption. Please do not consume the cheese products at this time.” For the record, it’s probably best not to eat random food you find on the street anyway.