Oscar nominees before they were respectable

Sure, your star may be burning as brightly as that dress Katy Perry was rocking at the Super Bowl right now, but you weren’t always so hot and you know it! No matter how much you Oscar nominees are basking in the gloating glow this awards season, your early resume proves that there was a time when your career choices were way, way, wayyy less than golden. And the good news—for us, not you, unfortunately—is that there are plenty of pictures to prove it!

Before you start filling out those Oscar pool ballots, movie fans, you’re gonna want to take a peek at these photos of some of your top Best Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress nominees in their early days. No spoilers, but let’s just say that even the seasoned pros, back for yet another nomination (oh hai, Meryl and Reese!), have made some professional moves that would make “Amazing” Amy Dunne scream “Bloody murder!” in the middle of a camera-packed street.

Take a look (or five) for yourself:

Begin Slideshow

Oscar nominees before they were respectable

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  And you are?

  Although now in the ring for the Best Actor trophy, this guy once tried to pin down our affections (punny hints, y'all!) by .... playing a security guard in an all-nighter of a teen flick.20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

• Steve Carell

  Yeah, kids, that WAS comedian-turned-thespian Steve Carell in Sleepover. Good thing he KO'd our expectations by playing corrupt wrestling coach John du Pont in Foxcatching Fire—er, Foxcatcher—huh?Annapurna Pictures

• And you are?

  This eternal favourite may have bewitched us for decades, but at one point, she too was once sent to career hell in a flaming turd of a comedy co-starring queen of the comedy underbelly Roseanne Barr....MGM Home Entertainment

• Meryl Streep

  Sorry, Meryl, but not even a trip Into the Woods, nor another Supporting Actress nod, can make us forget you were in She-Devil.Walt Disney Pictures

• And you are?

  Reality bites when you're a young actor just tryin' to get a gig. That's why this soon-to-be Best Supporting Actor nominee chose to play man's best friend's best friend in the Disney adaptation of Jack London's White Fang, right?Walt Disney Pictures

• Ethan Hawke

  We can't speak for Ethan Hawke, but we're gonna say that he probably would rather spend another 12 years reshooting Boyhood than another few months working on White Fang 2: Myth of the White Wolf. (Pssssst, he was in that too!) Seriously though, *that* movie was his follow-up to Dead Poets Society? Oh hells no, Captain, my Captain.IFC Productions

• And you are?

  She might be shoo-in for Best Actress these days, but back in another one (the '90s, to be exact), she was robbin' cradles. Well, more like stealin' scenes in the soapy thriller The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.Hollywood Pictures Home Entertainment

• Julianne Moore

  You might think this is a picture of Julianne Moore in Still Alice, but it's actually a candid of her agent texting her reminding her of her Hand That Rocks the Cradle death scene. Sorry for the lack of spoiler alerts, we've all watched that movie at least once on cable when our parents/spouses/cats weren't looking, right?Mongrel Media

• And you are?

  This icy blonde, up for Best Actress this year, owes what was supposed to be her big break to a movie that brought us one of Madonna's worst soundtrack songs ever. Yes, we're talking about Die Another Day. And yes, that's Madge in leather fencing gear standing next to her in this still.Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

• Rosamund Pike

  From Bond Girl to Gone Girl! (Thank you. We're here all night.) It's weird to think that Rosamund Pike's career actually did live to see a few more days after she played Miranda Frost in one of the worst Bond flicks ever. Maybe she elaborately framed all the people involved with that decision, making them suffer through a series of puzzling clues that brought them to a seriously conflicting end?20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

• And you are?

  Let's do a quick little quiz, shall we? Which Best Actor nominee and Tumblr loverboy played a trivia-obsessed mega dork opposite James McAvoy in the 2006 indie rom-com Starter for 10?Picturehouse

• Benedict Cumberbatch

  If you said Benedict, you win, Cumberbeyotches! Years before he played one of the smartest men ever in The Imitation Game, he was outsmarted by U.K. casting directors. That's not to say Starter for 10 is a bad movie, but he's masking his leading man tendencies by playing the stick-up-the-butt of the jokes.Elevation Pictures

• And you are?

  Sad to say this current Hollywood bombshell and Best Supporting Actress candidate actually totally bombed with one of her early movies. We're talking about The Rocker, a flick about a faded rock star played by Rainn Wilson and this gal being a total tease (we're talking about her hair, of course).20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

• Emma Stone

  Emma Stone, we can't be happier Easy A and a few superhero-themed movies swooped in to save you from fading into shameful obscurity. Birdman is much more your speed than some sort of School of Rock ripoff starring Dwight Schrute. Go on with your also formerly Superbad self.

• And you are?

  This Best Supporting Actor contender just loves playing the villain—or at least the guy who has villain-ish tendencies (i.e. strangely arresting hair or lack thereof, an oddly booming voice, a penchant for dismissing promising photogs attempting to get their big break in the Daily Bugle). Before he was gunning for the part of Oscar winner, he played Peter Parker's boss, J. Jonah Jameson, in that non-amazing Spider-Man series.Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

• JK Simmons

  J.K. J.J. You'd think that Mr. Simmons was made to play Mr. Jameson, but let's all be honest and say that he was much better and more terrifying in Whiplash. Bet he could have gotten more out of Peter if he whipped some symbols at the kid's head and forced him to use his Spidey senses on command.Sony Pictures Classics

• And you are?

  You better believe back when this two-time Best Actress contender was young and cute and trying to earn her keep, she had to fight off some serious dudssssssss. First there was Mark Wahlberg's abusive murder boyfriend in Fear. And then there was Fear itself. (Sorry. But not really.)Universal Studios Home Video

• Reese Witherspoon

  Surely a number of girls owe their sexual awakenings to watching Reese Witherspoon get naughty with Wahlberg on that rollercoaster in Fear. (God knows we .... never you dirty mind!) But Reese owes her Oscar buzz to bit heavier (we're talking content, not make-up) fare like this year's Wild.Fox Searchlight Pictures

• And you are?

  It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a ... future superhero and Best Actor frontrunner playing Super Dad—or, Mr. Mom!MGM Home Entertainment

• Michael Keaton

  For real though, before Michael Keaton was Batman, which would lead to him being Birdman, he was Mr. Mom. Let's all now take a moment of silence to think about what Alejandro González Iñárritu's Mrs. Dad would be like.Fox Searchlight Pictures

• And you are?

  1, 2, Freddy's .... oh, well, he already came for this Best Supporting Actress back in the '80s when she got her first role (ever!) in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.New Line Cinema

• Patricia Arquette

  Patricia Arquette doesn't lose sleep over her one-movie run-in with Freddy Krueger (another actress replaced her in Nightmare 4) anymore. That's not to say she doesn't regret it, but girl's too busy raking in golden guys for her performance in Boyhood to get sleep these days!IFC Films

Just look at them now! Watch the 87th Academy Awards on Feb. 22 at 7 p.m. (ET) on CTV.