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Some female pandas have been fooling their caretakers for years. Giant pandas have such a low birth rate — especially in captivity — that when one does show signs of being pregnant, they’re showered with delicious gifts and put into special air-conditioned rooms. It’s alleged that the Taipei Zoo’s resident giant panda Yuan Yuan faked her pregnancy so she could receive these exclusive perks. “Some clever pandas have used this to their advantage to improve their quality of life,” reported the Huffington Post. “There were tell-tale symptoms, like a loss of appetite and a thickening of the uterus… Yet despite these promising signs, the panda’s pregnancy was a false alarm.”

Naked man, 81, arrested after performing sex act with a bush in his backyard

Yep, the headline says it all, right? Wallace Berg of Connecticut must really have a green you-know-what. The senior citizen thought it was OK to hump a bush in his own backyard that was unfortunately in full view of the street. His neighbours caught the lewd act and got to recording it — for proof, of course. Berg is now facing second-degree breach of peace and public indecency charges, according to the Daily Mail.

A mystery pooper has been ravaging Norwegian golf course for 10 years

Players at a Norwegian golf course don’t have to worry about stepping in poop on the greens, but they do have to be careful about which holes they put their hands in. Workers at Stavanger Golf Club say that someone’s been dropping deuces in the course’s golf cups for a decade. For some reason, no one’s been able to track the disgusting person down. We hope they get to the bottom of this fecal matter soon.

Chechen girls swindle ISIS fighters for travel money

ISIS has been convincing young women to come join them in Syria, but someone finally turned the tables on them. Three Chechen girls started chatting up ISIS recruiters on social media and convinced them that they’d love to make their way to the Middle East. The only problem: the girls had no travel money. Of course, ISIS ponied up the cash and once it was transferred into the accounts, the women simply deleted their social media account and were on their merry way.

People pay this artist $100 to send them hate mail…

Apparently it pays to be mean to people. A British artist named Mr. Bingo has been sending people “hate mail” for the past four years and getting good money for it. Bingo adds a crude insult or two, along with an illustration on a postcard and makes $100 from each receiver. “I don’t know who the people are, and I don’t research or look them up. I don’t want to know what they look like or what they do … because then it would be bullying,” he told the National Post.