Making big life decisions can be overwhelming and scary times for anyone, especially when it comes to one of the biggest – deciding whether you want to have kids or not. In the past, having kids was a given for most people, something like a step in an adulthood guide. But now more and more people need a third party to help them decide.
Therapist Ann Davidman self identifies as a “motherhood clarity mentor” and has worked on parental indecision for almost 30 years. She says she has never been busier than these past few years, with new clients coming from the “xennial” generation, made up of the oldest millennials and the youngest people of Gen X.
Why them? Things have changed for this generation whether it means higher child-care costs, the trend of getting married later, burnout or FOBO, also known as fear of better options. That fear of missing something better that could come along later can cause a great deal of anxiety, which eventually leads them to a therapist like Davidman. According to her, issues like climate change and the current political climate also seem to be big factors in making this decision.
Consulting someone like her is very different to running a poll with your friends or closest family members. These therapists are there to help you listen to your own thoughts rather than everyone else’s. She says that although the process isn’t an easy one, the end goal is for her clients to have clarity of what they want, rather than being able to choose one lifestyle over another.
Could you have used someone like this when you were making this decision, or would you use someone like this now?
Why else do you think there are so many more people finding the decision to have a child harder to make?