It was a battle of the Parises this week—or, one Paris and one Perez, at least—for who could out-crazy the other. The hotel heiress Paris Hilton and blogger/name stealer Perez Hilton both opted for outfits that paid homage to their favourite characters. Perez is obviously voting for Hilary—we know this because of his obnoxious onesie. And Paris, well, we’re pretty certain she has no idea there is an election happening in her country, so she’s showing her support for her favourite Disney character, Tinker Bell, instead.
Spend a few minutes with your favourite Hiltons, and the other statement-making outfits of the week from the Monaco Grand Prix and more.
Paris or Perez: which ‘Hilton’ hit fashion rock bottom this week?
Paris HiltonRemember that one outfit you had as a child that you just loved to pieces? Well, this is Paris Hilton’s. And she’s still wearing it 30 years later. The hotel heiress wore a Tinker Bell-inspired crop-top and matching high-waisted skirt that was fit for a 5-year-old. How about we send this back to Never Never Land, and promise to never, never wear this again, Paris?Getty Images
Princess Camilla of BourbonWe imagine that princesses have access to some of the most amazing fashion in the whole wide world. This is why Princess Camilla of Bourbon’s red gown is such a disappointment. The top half of her dress looks like a dance-competition-ready leotard. You score zero points for this less than regal look, Camilla.Getty Images
Jane KrakowskiTina Fey’s best bud and The Incredible Kimmy Schmit star Jane Krakowski looked like a Valentine’s Day cinnamon heart, wrapped up in a tight lace package. Blondes wearing red is a deadly combo, but we just would have liked to see Jane jazz things up a bit—a large chunky necklace or some statement earrings. It just looks unfinished.Getty Images
Patricia ClarksonPatricia Clarkson walked the red carpet for the UK premier of her latest flick with Ben Kingsley, Learning to Drive. The actress’ brocade fabric dress with violet panels down each side does funny things to our eyes. And we’d rather it didn’t.Getty Images
Allison WilliamsGirls’ star Allison Williams always looks sour or in pain. And this week wasn’t much different. The brunette’s black tank top with sheer overlay should have been tucked in—this looks sloppy. And we’re wondering if she even has shoes on under that long white skirt. What would Marni think!?Getty Images
Lara StoneLara Stone is a model: True. But just because you’re a model doesn’t mean you can wear what looks like a raggedy old shirt that’s been eaten by moths. The super unbuttoned shirt is trying to be sexy, but just isn’t. And the black cigarette pants? Meh. They’re just whatevs.Getty Images
Kate MossAnother (super)model, another (sub)outfit. It’s like these women know how incredibly good looking they are, so they put no effort into their clothes. C’mon, ladies! We like the colour of Kate’s red button-up Western-ish shirt, but a black blazer and matching pants? It’s so dull, and ill-fitting for someone who could wear anything.Getty Images
Helen MirrenWerther’s Original candies, pockets filled with balled up Kleenex, wet kisses on the cheek; these are some of the grandmother-y things that come to mind when we see Helen Mirren in this. Helen is absolutely incredible. We adore her. But this long pink cardigan and ankle-length floral dress screams “Old Maid” and Helen is not such. We’d still like a Werthers, please. Getty Images
Martha StewartEveryone’s favourite homemaker didn’t look terrible, but she didn’t look great either. The grey t-shirt paired with khaki slacks looks more like a zookeepers’ uniform than something one would wear to an event. And the black platform sandals feel a tad dated, Martha. Getty Images
Bette MidlerLet’s just throw this out there: coloured sunglass lenses aren't a thing right now. If it were 2001, sure. But it’s not. Let’s try a pair of modern, reflective sunnies, Bette. And the large, bell-shaped sleeves on her black top make us wonder how many dinner rolls she could tuck in there. Getty Images
Salma HayekActress Salma Hayek is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. But what does she actually do these days other than play wife to an ultra-rich husband? We’re not sure. But we wish he would buy her some new clothes. This long-sleeved patterned dress with its high neckline and pearl accents belongs in the 1700s. Maybe it actually is from a museum.Getty Images
Salma HayekSalma was a busy bee this week, but neither time she was caught on camera did she look like the Queen. This black dress that she wore to the Gucci cruise-wear runway show was a like a pirate in cognition. Layers and layers of lacy fabrics, wide sleeves, and bolero to cap things off. Stay in your hive until you figure things out, Salma.Getty Images
Olivia PalmeroStreet style icon Olivia Palmero won’t be landing herself on any fashion blogs this week. The former reality star has a tiny frame to begin with, which is why this white pantsuit looks enormous on her. We’re into the wide-leg pant trend, but this pair takes it too far. Getty Images
Emily KinneySinger and song-writer Emily Kinny showed up to LA’s Grammy Museum looking like she’d just busted out of a fashion jail house. Sorry, Emily, we’re sending you back into the style slammer for another 5 years for committing this fashion crime.Getty Images
Felicity HuffmanActress Felicity Huffman scores points for taking a risk with colour. But the black top paired with the fuchsia pants is too jarring. We’d have much preferred to see some kind of patterned top with more colour. Getty Images
Perez HiltonWho is Perez Hilton voting for in the American election? Hmm…Trump, maybe? Wait! We’ve got it! Could it be Hilary Clinton? First of all, adults shouldn’t wear onesies in public, and second, your preferred politician’s face plastered all over your body? It’s a bit much, even for you, Perez. Getty Images
Eva LongoriaThe black dress that Eva Longoria wore to the premier of Low Riders in Hollywood looks like an origami project gone wrong. The thick, asymmetrical black folded fabric down the actress’ right side is so distracting. We wish something would distract us from this look. Getty Images