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When news of Patton Oswalt and Meredith Salenger‘s engagement came to light on Friday, many of us were happy for the couple. But instead of just celebrating and sharing their love, the two have been forced to defend their impending nuptials, as many people who thought it was their place to judge thought the engagement was too close to the death of Oswalt’s late wife, Michelle McNamara.

“I expected some bitter grub worms to weigh in (anonymously, always always always) with their much-needed opinions when I announced my engagement last week,” he wrote on Facebook. “And I decided to ignore them. But yeah, I felt this rage.”

Oswalt then linked to an essay written by a 27-year-old widower who lost her husband three days after Patton lost Michelle. She said what many of us — well, those of us who only want the best for Oswalt and his daughter Alice and Meredith — thought, and defended the couple’s happy news.

“You aren’t entitled to an opinion,” Erica Roman wrote. “You don’t get to comment on the choices of a widower while you sit happily next to your own living spouse. You didn’t have to stand and watch your mundane morning turn into your absolute worst nightmare.”

And a nightmare, it has been.

Patton has been very vocal about his grief and anger about life tossing him the curviest of curveballs, so we get it if his engagement to Salenger was a bit of a shocker, but IT’S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. And in all honesty, what’s not to love, especially if you’re a hardcore Disney fan? Remy the rat and Natty Gann? It’s the match you never knew you wanted.

Seriously, though, if they’re happy, all the power to them. But you know who’s really loving this? Alice. And that’s what matters most here.

Breakfast with my muppet 💖

A post shared by Meredith Salenger (@meredithsalenger) on