Spring has been budding early on the red carpet this year, with many stars apparently choosing to let their florists influence their style decisions. At least, it looks that way with all the floral patterned numbers we’ve been seeing.
We’re down to go to the garden for fashion inspiration again this year, but we don’t want to come out looking like Paula Abdul did this week, with a tragically mismatched floral top and fuchsia skirt. Or like Emily Ratajkowski and Kira Reed Lorsch, whose abnormally large rose motifs have us questioning the contents of the soil they were grown in.
We picked through the heavy growth of red carpet fashion this week to pull out all the weeds, just for you.
Paula Abdul and her friend really want an early spring
Courtney EatonCourtney Eaton is ready for her figuring skating debut! This royal blue mini dress, with its many dangling tassels will look marvellous, flowing from her body as she glides out of a perfectly executed triple axel. All this Australian actress needs to do is swap her strappy nude sandals for a pair of skates, and she’ll be on the podium in no time.Getty Images
Lana Del ReyThis is a kimono no-no, Lana. The singer’s long red locks look radiant, and her smile is infectious, sure, but this long floral gown looks like a maternity dress gone bad. The colours wash out the fair-skinned beauty, and the thin green rope belt looks like a sad string bean. Getty Images
Kelly KrugerTake a look at Kelly Kruger and tell us what comes to mind. If you said “Spiderman” then you’re not alone…because she looks JUST like a sexy Spiderman. Luckily, there is a simple two-step process to fix this. Step one: take this outfit off. Step two: put something else on. Much better. Getty Images
Toni GarrnThis fringe-accented, all-white pant suit worn by model Toni Garrn looks like something Johnny Depp would wear…. Or Elvis. You can see it, too, right? In all seriousness, a white-on-white outfit is a tough enough thing to pull off without fringe, and a decided lack of shirt. Sexy, but borderline costume. Getty Images
Terri IvensAlso, are those tights as pants? I thought we were beyond that. I guess not. Even though this off-the-shoulder top falls well below the waistline—this was basically the rule for when it was ok to wear this—this trend is not what we want to see on the red carpet in 2016. Getty Images
Jacqueline MacInnes WoodForgive the baseball analogy in a fashion column, but this look has stuck out. The square-shouldered blazer with the exposed top underneath is strike one, the striped gold and black pants (hello pants!) are strike two, and the thick belt and matching clutch (bad accessories on a bad look) complete the count. You’re out, Jacqueline. Getty Images
Gigi HadidGigi Hadid, world-class beauty and superstar model since childhood here proves that NOBODY is immune to the effects of a bad outfit. This, sweet Gigi, is just not you. It’s sexy, yes, but sexy alone does not a good outfit make. Getty Images
Jasmin WaliaWe can imagine the conversation that happened between Jasmin Walia’s stylist and agent. Agent: “We need to get Jasmin some headlines—good or bad. What can we do?” Stylist: “I know just the piece.” Well, you’ve done it. Congrats. Getty Images
Vinessa AntoineRemember that Seinfeld episode about the pirate shirt with the billowy sleeves? Well, this dress is the 2016 version of that. It didn’t look good on Jerry and it doesn’t look good on you. Billows are for pirates and their sails, not your shirt sleeve. Getty Images
Paula AbdulPaul Abdul looks like a questionable flower arrangement, put together by a rookie florist, first day on the job, all nerves and no eye. Good intentions, though. Alas, good intentions won’t save this look, Paula. The floor-length fuchsia skirt just doesn’t go with the long-sleeved blouse. Getty Images
Emily RatajkowskiWhat’s with this floral theme? It’s slushy, it’s snowy, and we’re not in the mood for it, yet these MASSIVE roses are blooming everywhere on the red carpet. Emily’s body-hugging black dress shows off her sexy curves, but the oversized floral motif strewn across the front looks like a bad band tee. Is there a Guns N Roses logo on the back? Most likely, yes.Getty Images
Kira Reed LorschKira, if you wore this shirt as a contestant on The Bachelor, you would not be getting a rose. But, actually, can somebody tell us what’s with all these roses? Getty Images
Desreta JacksonDesreta Jackson’s black knit-sleeved dress is attention getting in the wrong way. The pattern is difficult to look directly at and the slit up the front is awkwardly placed—but not nearly as awkward as the exposed purple plastic wristband. Getty Images
Kylie MinogueMary Poppins hat, French maid dress and Wizard of Oz shoes, straight from Emerald City! Kylie Minogue just REALLY wanted to wear a hat, so she donned this ultra poofy dress and threw on the closest shoes she could find. Well, the hat looks great! Getty Images
Paloma FaithPamona Faith is wearing what appears to be the skin of character from Dr Seuss. She chose to pair the Dingle-Whats-It top with high-waisted, wide-leg velvet pants. For the record, those are words I never thought I’d write. *sigh, fashionGetty Images
Elizabeth OlsenThe littlest Olsen really should have seen a tailor before hitting the red carpet in this outfit. Imagine how dirty the bottom of these pants are going to be? Hem that, girl! The long cream vest is actually kind of nice, but thrown over ill-fitting pants and a flimsy tank, the actress looks less than great.Getty Images
Bella HadidModel Bella Hadid has fallen victim to the age-old problem of forgetting to put pants on. I know, I know, she was probably confused because her legs are partially covered by thigh-high boots, and a bunch of fringe. But those don’t count as pants, Bella! Getty Images
Noomi RapaceThe Swedish actress has temporarily blinded us with this electric yellow coat, so that we can barely move our eyeballs on to the equally as atrocious dress, which appears to be covered in a motif of tiny hardhats that have sprouted arms and legs. Just, no.Getty Images