No one at the Super Bowl was safe from the scathing commentary of Piers Morgan when the British television personality reviewed the event in his Daily Mail column Monday afternoon. After making abundantly clear that he believes that second place is just as much a loser as the person who came in last — “I get mad when I see Olympians jumping around for joy after ‘winning’ silver or bronze medals” — he chastised Tom Brady for his not-so-gracious loss.
“You might think the natural thing for Brady to do at the end would have been to seek out [Eagles Quarterback Nick] Foles, shake his hand, and congratulate him,” Morgan wrote, “But no. Brady was far too p*ssed off and wallowing in his own dejection to do something so selfless.”
After declaring it foolish to celebrate a silver medal, Morgan expected Brady to shake the opposing QB’s hand (which, yes, would have been nice) and stay for a longer post-game interview without “looking and sounding like someone had just murdered his entire family.” Morgan predicts that Brady’s attitude after losing the Super Bowl (no small loss) is enough to lose him the respect of his fans and sport. After all, he’s “the undisputed King of American Football, and the man with everything a man could possibly want in life right down to a supermodel wife.”
While Brady was Morgan’s biggest loser, the journalist didn’t hold back on other “losers” of the night either. He called the “severely intoxicated Kevin Hart,” who was desperate to speak to anyone who would listen about the Eagles’ win, including the analysts at the NFL Network desk, “embarrassing.” Yeah, we can’t defend the comedian much there. He was almost impossible to understand until he dropped an F-bomb and then was quickly forced to leave.
Who else caught a drunk Kevin Hart on NFL Network? pic.twitter.com/JXGv9cKbEn
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) February 5, 2018
Morgan also named Justin Timberlake and his underwhelming halftime performance as a loser — an assessment he was not alone on either. Sorry JT, but there’s no way you’re going to do Janet and Prince like that and get away with it.
Also under fire from Morgan was Pink for the now-viral moment when she spit her cough lozenge onto the field before beginning the national anthem. Now, not only did Pink perform while battling the flu (hence the lozenge), she absolutely killed her performance. Plus, most Pink fans weren’t grossed out by her spit take; they found it iconic.
It was a throat lozenge
— P!nk (@Pink) February 5, 2018
— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) February 4, 2018
— Clay Shaver (@RemodelingClay) February 4, 2018
Selling Pink’s gum on eBay later tonight
— Jonathan Jones (@jjones9) February 4, 2018
Honorable “loser” mentions also went to the entire network of NBC for that 30-second blackout that may have cost them around $5 million and Dodge for their Ram ad that featured a Martin Luther King Jr. speech. Those assessments are fair.