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Please don’t drunkenly chase the bears, Massachusetts police urge
Seriously, what are those Americans doing down there? In what could go down as the most bizarre public safety warning ever, the North Adams Police Department is advising residents not to drunkenly chase bears around with a “dull hatchet”. “Yes that really did happen tonight,” the tweet reads. “We are still trying to figure out what his end game was.” Authorities are now telling people to leave the bears alone.

Swedish peace group trolls Russian submarines with gay defence system
Rather than stocking up on nuclear arms, one Scandinavian country has come up with a new way to deter foreign aggression. The Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society has created a device that is essentially an underwater billboard with neon lights depicting a gay sailor. Due to an increase in alleged Cold War-style Russian aggression, and Vladimir Putin’s anti-gay laws, the billboard sits underwater where it waits for Russian subs. Once they come close, it emits Morse code signals saying “This way if you are gay”, deterring presumably homophobic Russian soldiers.

UK man sneezes out toy dart 44 years after it was lodged in his nose
Remember Homer Simpson and the crayon? It happened in real life. U.K. resident Steve Easton sneezed out a penny-sized toy dart tip while fighting off a bad case of hay fever. Obviously shocked, he told his mom what happened. That’s when she revealed that when Easton was 7-years-old, she found one of his toy darts without a tip and took him to a hospital to get checked out. But the doctor never found anything and sent him back home. Surprisingly, Easton says he doesn’t feel any difference in his breathing. No harm was done by the toy.

Women Attempt To Blow Dead Bug Into Each Other’s Mouths On Japanese Game Show
There’s a game show in Japan that’s a little different to the ones we’re used to here in Canada. Contestants on this show play dodgeball, and whoever gets hit has to pay a penalty which usually comes in the form of some twisted game. In this case, two women were put at opposite ends of a clear plastic tube. Inside the tube was a disgusting, dead cicada. The two women furiously push the bug around for a few seconds, before it shoots down one of their mouths. From the looks of it, the bug went right down her throat. Fun!

People in California are actually painting their grass green due to the drought
After their fourth year of drought, some Californians are getting frustrated. Thanks to increased water restrictions, residents could face a $1,000 fine if they attempt to water their gardens. So some of them, fed up with walking out onto a barren yellow patch of death, have brought out spray paint cans to add a little colour to their neighbourhoods. We guess that’s one way to brighten up the town!

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