When decorating for the holidays, it’s easy to fall into the Martha Stewart trap. That means picking a colour scheme that looks like the pantone swatch threw up all over your house. Do people really get sick of Christmas music or is it simply combining holiday classics with overwhelming colour palettes that short-circuits our sense? Mix in hard to digest foods like fruitcakes and gingerbread and it’s simply too much for the human body to handle. Someone should do a study on this.
And we haven’t even gotten to the tree. Judgment in our adult life comes in many forms. Are you single for the holidays or bringing a day home for the first time? Does visiting your family mean having to defend your choice to get an undergraduate degree in creative writing? Or maybe you’re bringing home your first baby and are mentally preparing yourself for the judgment of going with formula over breast milk. Possibly an even greater sin than all three of these together is opting for a fake tree over a real one. How dare you not willingly sign up for getting sap all over your house! You obviously don’t know the true meaning of Christmas, which is to pick pine needles out of your carpet for the next six months. It’s what the baby Jesus wanted.
Yes, the holidays can be a combination of judgment on your cooking, your present giving, your decorations, and your life choices, but there’s finally a way to take back Christmas. At least, you can take back the top of your tree, regardless of whether it’s real or fake. No judgment here.
Sure, an angel or star are the typical tree toppers we see around the holidays. But why not go with a literal angel or literal star that you can glance at through gritted teeth as your in-laws gift your obviously sports-hating son with yet another baseball mitt. Wouldn’t you feel better after looking up and seeing a reassuring smile from Beyoncé? Maybe a knowing glance from Hillary Clinton that tells you everything is going to be okay? Remember when Serena Williams won Wimbledon while she was eight weeks pregnant? If she can do that, you can get through the holiday season. Game, set, we promise everyone will be gone soon.
A company in the UK knows your holiday struggles and has found a way to give you the extra boost of confidence you may need around the holidays. Thanks to the Women To Look Up To site, you can now order your tree toppers featuring Beyoncé, Hillary Clinton, and Serena Williams. At last, angels we can believe in in 2017.
Believe in herstory with Hillary Clinton.
Have your own Lemonade moments with Beyoncé.
Honour the best female athlete of all time with Serena Williams.
Sure, your family may have some qualms about you straying from the traditional tree toppers and even question your decision on how to spend your own (damn) money.
Simply throw on your black leotard/pant suit/Nike tennis skirt or whatever makes you feel powerful, and inform them that the company making the tree toppers is a not for profit that reinvests their profits in projects to further female equality. Then we suggest playing this song as you drop the mic and leave the living room.