Ricky Gervais just delivered the most shocking opening monologue in Golden Globes history

'Thank your agent and your God and f**k off.'
January 5, 2020 9:19 p.m. EST
January 7, 2020 11:00 p.m. EST
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Ricky Gervais returned for a fifth and final time as host of the Golden Globes on Sunday night, and made sure that he would not be asked back. The comedian took aim as his fellow actors, big businesses, and even the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the same organization that votes on Globe winners and chooses the host. Like we said, there won’t be a sixth time.From getting bleeped about Dame Judi Dench to calling out Apple’s use of sweatshops, there was no celeb, no organization, no topic that was off limits for Gervais.

MAKING TOM HANKS BLUSH

Tom Hanks has played almost every role in Hollywood, and on Sunday night that role was 'shocked awards show attendee'. FYI, this is the face Tom Hanks makes when Ricky Gervais makes a joke about Dame Judi Dench performing oral sex on herself. Same, Tom.[caption id="attachment_4738088" align="alignleft" width="700"] Giphy[/caption]

FRIENDS OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN

While plugging his Netflix series After Life, Gervais says that his character didn’t kill himself, just like sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. “Shut Up. I know he was your friend, but I don’t care,” Gervais added post-gasps.

SOCIAL CAUSES

Ricky Gervais warned winners to not use their speeches as chances to make political messages, pointing out that many of the production companies they work for, including Apple, Amazon and Disney, have contributed greatly to the negative effects of climate change and slave labour. “If ISIS started a streaming service you know you all would call your agents. So, if you win an award tonight don’t get up and give a political speech, you’re in no place to do that. Most of you had less school than Greta Thunberg,” added Gervais, who made the joke while cameras panned to Apple CEO Tim Cook. “Thank your agent and your God and f**k off.”

CALLING HFPA RACIST

Gervais said that many actors of colour missed out on Golden Globe nominations this year because the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is racist. “There’s nothing we can do about that,” said Gervais, adding “The Hollywood Foreign press are very racist.” The comedian joked that he was going to skip an In Memoriam because it was too white.

NO MORE SEQUELS

Not only did Gervais take on every actor in Hollywood, he also denounced big budget fantasy movies and agreed with Martin Scorsese’s comments last year that Marvel movies were like an amusement park. But one where Scorsese was too short to go on the rides.

FELICITY HUFFMAN

Gervais joked about the College Admissions Scandal, saying "I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made my Felicity Huffman." Gervais added that Huffman’s daughter must be embarrassed by her mother’s actions, saying she’s already suffered by having her father William H. Macy appear in Wild Hogs.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO’S DATING LIFE

Gervais touched on the running time of films this year, including The Irishman and Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, with both films hitting the three-hour mark. “Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end his date was too old for him,” joked Gervais. “Even Prince Andrew is like, come on mate.”

JAMES CORDEN’S CATS

Ricky Gervais does not appear to be a fan of fellow Englishman James Corden, quipping “The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy... and he was in Cats.” Harsh.As for who should host next year, I think we all have an answer.

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