The night before the 2009 Grammys is a day that lives in gossip infamy. Rihanna had just left a party with then-boyfriend Chris Brown, whom she calls her first love, when he assaulted her in his car and left her bloodied and battered on the side of the road.
The world was not-unexpectedly shocked when the two got back together a few years later. Rihanna covers the November issue of Vanity Fair and reveals why she took him back a second time.
“I was that girl,” she tells the mag. “That girl who felt that as much pain as this relationship is, maybe some people are built stronger than others. Maybe I’m one of those people built to handle sh*t like this. Maybe I’m the person who’s almost the guardian angel to this person, to be there when they’re not strong enough, when they’re not understanding the world, when they just need someone to encourage them in a positive way and say the right thing.”
So basically, Rihanna thought she could change Brown. “A hundred per cent. I was very protective of him. I felt that people didn’t understand him. Even after … But you realize after a while that in that situation you’re the enemy. You want the best for them, but if you remind them of their failures, or if you remind them of bad moments in their life, or even if you say I’m willing to put up with something, they think less of you — because they know you don’t deserve what they’re going to give. And if you put up with it, maybe you are agreeing that you [deserve] this, and that’s when I finally had to say, ‘Uh-oh, I was stupid thinking I was built for this.’ Sometimes you just have to walk away.”
Wow. Such a refreshing, authentic interview compared to all the rehearsed answers celebs normally give. Rihanna also reveals that she doesn’t hate Chris. On the contrary, she says she will always care about him but admits that they’re “not friends.” Nor are they enemies. They just “don’t have much of a relationship now.”
And that sound you heard was everyone heaving a giant sigh of relief. But as for being some sort of poster child for victims of domestic violence, RiRi’s not a fan. It’s not that she wants to dismiss what happened or that she doesn’t take it seriously; she just doesn’t want to talk about it.
“For me, and anyone who’s been a victim of domestic abuse, nobody wants to even remember it,” she explains. “Nobody even wants to admit it. So to talk about it and say it once, much less 200 times, is like … I have to be punished for it? It didn’t sit well with me.”
Rihanna goes on to talk about her desire to just be normal, her love of crime shows and her dating and sex life — which is nonexistent. She’s too busy with work and a new album people are hankering for.
“I don’t have time to be lonely,” she says, adding, “And I get fearful of relationships because I feel guilty about wanting someone to be completely faithful and loyal, when I can’t even give them 10 per cent of the attention that they need. It’s just the reality of my time, my life, my schedule.” Sounds pretty normal to us. We’re just happy that she’s moving forward. Now pump out that new album already!