Everyone’s favourite superhero, Robert Downey Jr, is going to make his circle of friends a wee bit uncomfortable. Like, the kind of uncomfortable that ensues when you find out your bff wants to sleep with your partner.
The 51-year-old actor was hanging out with controversial radio host Howard Stern on his SiriusXM show this week, and the topic of a “free pass” (that one person you’d hook up with, with your partner’s approval, if the opportunity presented itself) came up in conversation.
Downey didn’t skip a beat in his answer. He’s been thinking about this for awhile.
“My free pass is — because her and [my wife] Susan are such good friends — is Paltrow,” he admitted to Stern.
Um, the whole “free pass” doesn’t work if it’s someone who moves in your own circles, Rob! An A-lister like Downey has to choose someone like a royal — what about sweet, darling Kate Middleton!? — or maybe his Starbucks barista, whose name we can only imagine must be Jessica. You don’t get to pick someone you brunch with or run into at work!
And Downey has been strategizing about how to make this all go down. “I gotta get [Gwen] back in these [Ironman] movies so I can make out with her onscreen again,” he said. But don’t worry, his film producer wife, Susan, is totally cool with it all. “She could care less,” Downey assured Stern. (Um, you know that means she could care less than she does, right Rob? She’s telling you she cares!)
We can just imagine the uncomfortable silences over brunch this weekend, as Gwynnie and her man-of-the-moment Brad Falchuk (the brains behind Glee), and Robert Downey and wife Sue sit at The Ivy in Beverly Hills, awkwardly sipping mimosas, wondering who is silently undressing whom.
This is like us picking Steve from Accounting as our “free pass.” Yikes. No, thank you. Things are awkward enough at the company Christmas party as it is.
Rob, we recommend you find a different “free pass,” or, at the very least, not publicly share your desire to have sex with your friend/wife’s friend/coworker.