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Rogue, chocolate-eating monkey Tasered, captured after weeks on the loose in France
Talk about monkey business. Police in Marseille had received more than a dozen calls about a crazed monkey running amok on the streets. In one incident, it entered an elementary school where it “caused bedlam” and “scratched some children.” Authorities were eventually able to catch the monkey, unharmed, and plan to move him to a zoo. Sadly though, officials believe the animal was an abandoned pet, and that its aggressive behaviour was the result of malnutrition. Police are now looking for the owner.

State to pull ‘Don’t Jerk and Drive’ campaign
“Nobody likes a jerker.” That’s the message from a safe-driving campaign out of South Dakota. The idea was to educate drivers not to jerk their steering wheels around in icy conditions. But apparently some people didn’t think the added sexual innuendo was very funny, and the Department of Public Safety decided to take it down. Guess there’s no happy ending to this story. Check out the ad below:

Dog Shoots Man
That’s what happens when you forget the Kibbles N Bits. A Wyoming man is in hospital after his dog literally shot him. The incident took place after the dog stepped on a rifle that was sitting in the bed of the man’s pickup truck, causing it to fire. Of course, that only happened because the gun was both loaded AND the safety was off (both of which would be illegal in Canada). Luckily, the man was hit in the arm and his injuries were reported as non-life threatening.

Wife catches her husband cheating with her twin sister, leaves them naked in public
Revenge is a dish best served…naked? A woman in China who suspected her husband was cheating on her followed him around one day only to confirm her suspicions. Ting Su found her husband naked in a car with her twin sister, who was also naked. Once confronted, the naughty and nude duo bolted out of the car in their birthday suits. That’s when a quick-thinking Su jumped in the vehicle, locked the doors and drove off. The two were left standing naked in a shopping mall parking lot.

Someone Accidentally Donates Human Remains To Goodwill
Er…thanks? Goodwill employees sorting through donated items in Indiana found two boxes filled with cremains. Each box was marked with a date and a name, which police used to reunite the remains with survivors. Store manager Paula Strong said it was the “strangest” thing she’d ever seen on the job.

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