Is it wrong for a man to steal a loaf of bread to feed his family? What about stealing 30,000 condoms to make sure he doesn’t make a family?
That’s the moral dilemma we’re facing with a news story coming out Las Vegas, where two thieves stole more than 30,000 condoms over Memorial Day weekend. Honestly, we’re surprised the warehouse where the condoms are stored even noticed the missing products. We’re assuming 30,000 condoms go pretty fast in Sin City.
Lelo, the company that makes the condoms, closed early on Friday for the long weekend in the U.S. Surveillance cameras captured two men on Friday night entering the warehouse around 8 pm through the back door. Seriously, the back door? The story really writes itself.
The men stole two boxes containing 15,120 individually wrapped condoms, then decided to not take any chances with their very active sex lives and went back for a few more 36-packs of condoms. You can never be too safe.
Realizing that going through 30,000 condoms would eventually get a little mundane, the thieves looked to spice things up and returned the next day to steal sex toys. It makes sense that thieves who steal condoms would also have the foresight to pick up some toys. They’re obviously good planners.
The men, who the Lelo company assumes were the same thieves from Friday night, drove a rental car through the company’s loading dock on Saturday morning and got off made off with $10,000 worth of sex toys. Showing that they care about both men and women enjoying sex, the thieves stole 33 boxes of prostate massagers and 48 Kegel exercising aids. They truly are the Robin Hoods of the sex world. Sherwood Forest? More like Share-wood Fore…nope, we went too far.
The Lelo company, whose products can be found in stores like Brookstone (we knew those weren’t neck massagers!) posted about the robbery on their blog, and proved that to be in the sex toy game, you have to have a good sense of humour. In a truly poetic turn of a phrase, the company wrote “our Las Vegas warehouse, that bastion of sin and monument to all that is good and hedonistic, was viciously burglarized by what must surely be the horniest criminals in world history. Horniest and, oddly, most socially responsible.”
The Lelo company has posted security footage from the robberies, writing “One hopes that they stole those condoms, got into a time machine, went back 18-25 years (by the looks of it), and presented them all to their own fathers.” Savage, but funny.
Labeling the thieves the ‘rubber bandits,’ Lelo point out that they were planning on giving away thousands of condoms in the next few weeks. “They could have just waited and asked for them like everyone else, instead of ruining the paintwork on a perfectly good SUV.”