Ryan Adams apologizes for his past abusive behaviour

Ryan Adams is sober and ready to own his stuff. In a new essay, the musician and songwriter apologized for his ugly past behaviour towards women and those that he caused harm, revealing that he should never be allowed to forget some of the awful things that he did.“There are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I've mistreated people throughout my life and career. All I can say is that I'm sorry. It's that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life,” the 45-year-old wrote in a letter published in The Daily Mail. “I've gotten past the point where I would be apologizing just for the sake of being let off the hook and I know full well that any apology from me probably won't be accepted by those I've hurt. I get that and I also understand that there's no going back.”The apology comes around the same time that Adams announced the launch of his new website. Meanwhile, it has been about a year and a half since a February 2019 New York Times article was published in which seven women, including Adams’ ex-wife Mandy Moore, accused the man of controlling, obsessive and manipulative behaviour. For years he reportedly leveraged his power in the industry over their careers, but denied the claims when the article was published.“To a lot of people this will just seem like the same empty bull---t apology that I've always used when I was called out, and all I can say is, this time it is different. Having truly realized the harm that I've caused, it wrecked me, and I'm still reeling from the ripples of devastating effects that my actions triggered,” Adams continued in his apology. “There is no way to convince people that this time is truly different, but this is the albatross that I deserve to carry with me as a result of my actions.”Adams and Moore were married for seven years before finalizing their divorce in June 2016. After the Times article was published, the This Is Us actress opened up further about that dark time in her life, revealing to Marc Maron on his podcast just how much of a psychological toll the relationship took on her. “I was living my life for him,” she said at the time. “It [was] an entirely unhealthy dynamic. Oh, I had no sense of self. I was imperceptible, I was so small in my own world.”

Mandy Moore responds

For her part, Moore revealed on the Today show on July 6 that she personally hasn’t heard from Adams, and that she read the public apology with everyone else. “It’s challenging because I feel like in many ways I’ve said all I want to say about him and that situation, but I find it curious that someone would make a public apology but not do it privately,” she said.

Mandy Moore talks about her ex-husband Ryan Adams’ public apology over the weekend regarding allegations of abuse. pic.twitter.com/MQ8j2nvY2L

— TODAY (@TODAYshow) July 6, 2020

The actress then told host Hoda Kotb that she doesn’t know whether Adams has apologized personally to anyone else, though. “I am speaking for myself, but I have not heard from him, and I'm not looking for an apology necessarily, but I do find it curious that someone would do an interview about it without actually making amends privately.”Model and singer Karen Elson, who outlined her own "traumatizing experience" with Adams after the NYT expose came out, also responded to Ryan's apology, saying she feels more work needs to be done.

My thoughts on Ryan Adam. I believe in redemption and amends even for him. However he has not reached out to me since 2018 to apologize for his terrible behavior. In fact back then he called a liar which added more pain and made me disillusioned with the entire music industry.

— Karen Elson (@KarenElson_) July 4, 2020

In the Daily Mail letter, Adams seems to acknowledge that harm. “I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall,” he wrote. “That being said, no amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused. I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behaviour, and will be for my actions moving forward. In my effort to be a better man, I have fought to get sober, but this time I'm doing it with professional help. Sobriety is a priority in my life, and so is my mental health. These, as I'm learning, go hand in hand.”He added that he won’t make any excuses for himself or belabour stories of his “demons,” but he explained that he is instead trying to do better through self-care and self-work. “Music is how I lay my soul bare, and in working through this, I have written enough music to fill half a dozen albums,” he wrote. “Some of these songs are angry, many are sad but most of them are about the lessons I've learned over the last few years. Those ones an expression of my deepest remorse. I hope that the people I've hurt will heal. And I hope that they will find a way to forgive me.”[video_embed id='1512946']RELATED: Ryan Adams threw some major shade at Mandy Moore[/video_embed]