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It’s October, which means new beginnings? That’s what we’re going with because the most annoying half-sister in the world just did a complete turnaround. That’s right, people, Duchess Meghan‘s estranged sibling, Samantha Markle, was a guest on Jeremy Vine‘s U.K. talk show and did the unthinkable. Come up with a not-so-clever nickname to insult Meghan? No, she’s already done that. Demand that Kensington Palace open their gates to let her in to talk to Meg? Nope, Sam’s checked that one off her list too. Instead, Markle tried a different tactic — and issued an apology to the Duchess of Sussex. On live television.

Does she sound sincere when she says there’s “so much water under the bridge and so much has spun out of control that was never intended to” and that they “all just agreed to move forward with positive resolve?” Sure. Is it genuine? No way! Markle also claimed she wants to move forward and wishes “things could be different.” Of course she does! Because she’s gotten nowhere with Meghan thus far. So now she’s trying a different tactic: trying to garner sympathy.

This is by no means a genuine, dramatic turn of events. Anyone with eyes and ears and a memory that can recall this past year or so knows Samantha is faking it — and has upped her game. This was Markle’s way of lulling Meghan — not to mention the more naive, forgiving types out there — into a false sense of security. Our Megs isn’t going to fall for Sam’s act because she knows what she’s all about. Others, though–particularly the Meghan haters– are going to pounce on this and believe going forward, Samantha is the victim and Meghan is the villain.

Markle is totally going to capitalize on those who feel bad for her; when Meghan once again ignores her (which she hopefully will), Samantha can now say she “did everything she could” and she “tried to make a meeting happen” and “now the ball’s in Meghan’s court.” Can’t you already hear it? And see the headlines? UGH.

Nutshell? Meghan is damned either way. If she doesn’t meet up with Samantha, people will say she’s changed ever since marrying into the Royal Family and now she’s a monster who doesn’t have time for her family. And if she does find time for her half-sis, she lets Samantha have that satisfaction and Sam’s going to milk their meeting for everything it’s worth. It’s a lose-lose — even though we all know there’s really only one loser in this situation.