Many of the best-dressed celebs this past week seemed to take inspiration from the Oscar award itself, walking the red carpet in glamorous gowns that dazzled the crowds and sparkled for the cameras. Let us be clear: these are not those gowns. These are the would be dazzlers that fell short somewhere this side of awkward.
Included in our roundup this week is Jaime King, whose chosen attire made her look like she had just, or was about to, perform some sort of magic ritual. Not wanting to leave Jaime alone, Kate Beckinsale joined her in a feather-busted top that’s made us want to swear off poultry.
Honestly, some of these looks on other stars like Emma Roberts appear as though they may have been inspired by something an 8-year-old would bring home from art class to put on the fridge. While it is making us want to break out the craft supplies, we have no illusions that anything we make should be worn on a red carpet.
These stars’ outfits look like failed arts and crafts projects
Teresa PalmerThe styling here makes Teresa look like a beautiful frosty ice princess, but the bodice of this silver gown is so unflattering it almost ruins the image. The flat bit in the middle lacks any of the whimsical flow of the rest of the dress, and the belt right in the middle of it just totally throws us off.Getty Images
RolaThis dress is not doing Rola justice, and you’d think after all her experience modelling, she would know what the best looks for her are. It looks like it was slapped together at the last minute by a teenager with a crimping iron. She can do so much better.Getty Images
Rachel RoyThe whole conspiracy theory that Rachel Roy was “Becky with the good hair” may have been debunked, but we can see why people thought it might have been her, because we love her hairstyle here. Unfortunately, the colourful faux fur stripes over clean nautical stripes is giving us some less positive emotions.Getty Images
Priyanka BoseThis Indian actress got a lot of attention for the beautiful sustainable gown she wore to the Oscars, but this dress she wore to a pre-Oscars party is getting our attention for a different reason. The barely there flare on the skirt as well as the half slit sleeves are not working for us.Getty Images
Phoebe PricePhoebe belongs to a rare breed of celebrity that never really has any particularly noteworthy acting roles, yet manages to be on every red carpet and takes every opportunity for a photo op. We have to respect her hustle, but we can’t say the same for this mish mash of old trends she calls an outfit.Getty Images
Paula RomanWhen we talk about a dress wearing a person instead of the other way around, this is a great example of what we’re referring to. This Spanish actress is practically swimming in this dress, and we’re pretty sure she had to pose sideways since the front of the dress would otherwise cover half her face.Getty Images
Medalion RahimiThis dress reminds us of the dress Kim Kardashian wore to the MTV VMAs last year, only Medalion thought it wasn’t bold enough so she went all out with glitter glue. And then the shoes look like she’s about to compete in ballroom dance contest. What?Getty Images
Lady Victoria HerveyThis look is frustratingly close to being great, but falls short. This English socialite/model just looks like she threw a bikini under a fancy cover up. If the bits covering her up were incorporated into the dress in a more seamless way, perhaps just as some well placed dense lace, it wouldn’t look so cheap.Getty Images
Kiernan ShipkaThis look isn’t the worst, but the proportions aren’t great. The skirt (or would we call it extra large peplum in this case?) is so voluminous it’s like a circle of airbags, which would be great if she was planning on trying her hand at Formula 1 racing, but we’re guessing she isn’t.Getty Images
Kate BeckinsaleThe thing we take most issue with on Kate’s dress is the colouring of the feathers, which look like frosty grass. It should be noted that green ostrich feathers will always end up looking like some form of shrubbery, and should just be avoided altogether unless you’re at an event celebrating achievements in gardening.Getty Images
Jaime KingWe’re all for vintage inspired looks, but the harshness of this black and white polka dot dress against Jaime’s fair skin makes her look like an actual ghost from the 1940s. We also take issue with the pointed sleeves, which add a witchy element to a not very witchy dress.Getty Images
Jackie CruzFrom the knees up, this is a great dress, but the feathered bottom seems to have totally come out of left field. The top of the gown is sexy, playful and sleek, and the bottom is fluffy and wintery. We also would love it if we could trim her bangs just a tiny bit, so we could see more of her beautiful face.Getty Images
Heather MatarazzoWhat can we say about this that isn’t already immediately apparent? As the best friend of the Princess of Genovia, she has the ultimate makeover hook up, so this is unacceptable. What’s that? The Princess Diaries was just a movie/book and shouldn’t be taken as fact? We’ll just have to agree to disagree.Getty Images
Emma RobertsIt only takes a glance to identify this as a Vivienne Westwood dress, thanks to her distinctive draping style. However, we feel Emma’s dress lacks the uplifting spirit of other VW looks. The colouring is depressing, and there’s not even a cool brooch or splash of tartan like we’ve come to expect from the label.Getty Images
Becca DudleyAs the face of MTV UK, we expect Becca to wear something edgy and youthful, but this here is trying too hard to be both, like it has two personalities that don’t get along. As for the high-waisted capri jeans with the sheer black ruffles at the bottoms, the only solution is to burn them and forget this ever happened.Getty Images
Aubrey PlazaAubrey Plaza definitely has an independent spirit, and you’d think it would especially come out at the Independent Spirit Awards. For that reason we’re tempted to give this look a pass, but we just can’t because these two patterns don’t go together one bit. Getty Images