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Many of the best-dressed celebs this past week seemed to take inspiration from the Oscar award itself, walking the red carpet in glamorous gowns that dazzled the crowds and sparkled for the cameras. Let us be clear: these are not those gowns. These are the would be dazzlers that fell short somewhere this side of awkward.

Included in our roundup this week is Jaime King, whose chosen attire made her look like she had just, or was about to, perform some sort of magic ritual. Not wanting to leave Jaime alone, Kate Beckinsale joined her in a feather-busted top that’s made us want to swear off poultry.

Honestly, some of these looks on other stars like Emma Roberts appear as though they may have been inspired by something an 8-year-old would bring home from art class to put on the fridge. While it is making us want to break out the craft supplies, we have no illusions that anything we make should be worn on a red carpet.