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The trailer for Vince Vaughn’s “new” movie, Unfinished Business, looks like a bit of a dog’s breakfast — if a dog’s breakfast was made up of a bunch of unfunny cliches, beyond-tired movie tropes, and bits of rejected footage from other movies that Vaughn and co. scraped off of the cutting room floor.

The trailer opens with a classic skyscraper shot — as seen in Die Hard, Working Girl, The Devil Wears Prada, Basic Instinct, Godzilla, Independence Day, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, The Dark Knight, Sleepless in Seattle and every other movie that takes place in a sizeable American city. Yawn. Call us when Vaughn is scaling the side of its sheer glass surface using only his bare hands.

scraper

Getting berated by your superior in the middle of an open-concept office? Horrible Bosses did it first — and better — by featuring 100% more Kevin Spacey than this movie does.

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“Movie-making is expensive. Let’s just film this part on green screen and CGI us onto some leftover wide shots from The Internship.”

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Introducing Discount James Franco. Real James Franco refused to do this movie because he vaguely remembered already doing it. Also, there wasn’t a part for Real Seth Rogen.

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And here’s everyone jumping up and down in unison. Just like during the ‘Shout’ montage in Wedding Crashers, only everyone’s older and less charming.

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We’re pretty sure that tank top made an appearance in both Old School (that Iron Cross scene in the gym?) and Dodgeball. Did the costume designer say you could keep it, Vince Vaughn? Or did you smuggle it home under your hoodie?

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And this footage is from the scrapped sequel to Dodgeball, Paintball.

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Remember Night at the Museum? We’re still trying to figure out which guy is Ben Stiller, and which guy’s the chimp.

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Half-naked women acting out a stereotypical male fantasy that’s only tangentially related to the film’s plot? You can pick from any number of middling flicks to find this kind of cliche but let’s go with that time Alice Eve was directed to unnecessarily strip down to her bra and underwear in Star Trek Into Darkness.

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Clearly a Pineapple Express outtake. We smell a Franco and Franco conspiracy, and it smells like bad weed. The kind of weed you smoke and then think, “Hey, you know who needs a little propping up? Schlubby white businessmen! Let’s make a movie that shows ’em for the heroes they really are. Somebody get VinceVaughn on the phone!”

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Just a bunch of bros being bros!

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No harm ever came from that, right?

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Except maybe that one time, in Old School.

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And that other time, in this very movie.

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Give it up, Vaughn. You’ll never outdo Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids. She put the “ass” in flying first class and she owns that patent for eternity.

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Here’s some visually awkward sex à la The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Ted, Office Space, American Pie, A Fish Called Wanda, and Bridesmaids (again). Unfinished Business might just be the most environmentally friendly movie ever made. There’s so much recycling!

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Let’s face it, Unfinished Business probably should have stayed that way — a half-baked script decomposing in some studio dumpster. Lucky for Vaughn, he’s snagged a role in the upcoming second season of HBO’s wildly popular True Detective. If the show is as good as its first season, the memory of this stinker might be erased from our minds — for a while, anyway.

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