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Last week’s announcement of Oprah’s Gift Guide was a fun balance of affordable and frivolous, with Winfrey featuring a little something for everyone. That was then. Now, it’s time for Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop brand to share its list of what to buy the person in your life who has everything, assuming that person in your life is a millionaire with really eclectic taste.

Like Winfrey’s favourite things, the Goop Gift Guide is divided into different sections, with items sorted into wellness, gifts under $100, a section for men, kids, travel and cooking. There’s also a list of items that are great for hosting parties, a section for lovers and a gift guide for the person who has everything.

The guide does include a self-aware section for ‘The Ridiculous But Awesome’ gifts, which is where the *most* ridiculous items can be found. But that’s not to say there aren’t ridiculous items in the other sections. There are and they provide a fun view into the world of elite shoppers.

Of course, Goop does keep things somewhat balanced, with items like $17 condoms, a $13 book about sex, a $26 crib sheet and a $39 Bluetooth speaker showing that there are some items that the average shopper could likely afford. But we really had to look for those. The Birkin bag for $13,900? That jumped right out.

If you’re looking for affordable, you might want Oprah’s help when you’re writing your letter to Santa. For something impractical that comes with a big price tag? That’s Goop all the way.

The GOOPiest

There’s the No.2 designer toilet paper for $47.

 

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Welcome to an easy switch, a new wiping experience and a big impact. ⁣ ⁣ ✔️100% bamboo⁣ ⁣ ✔️ Butt crumble free – View full butt crumble video on www.gono2.com ⁣ ⁣ ✔️ 3-ply for a luxury wiping experience ⁣ ⁣ ✔️ Reducing Carbon Buttprint™️- that’s right Carbon Buttprint. 💬 Did you know that the average American kills 384 trees in their lifetime using TP from trees? ⁣ ⁣ ✔️ Plastic free, septic safe and packaged with 100% recycled materials that are recyclable ⁣ ⁣ ✔️ Forest Stewardship Council & Responsible Forestry certified ⁣ ⁣ 🧻🧻 Now in stock! Order now on www.gono2.com⁣ #wallpaperdecor #interiordesign #bathroomdesign #no2 #no2toiletpaper#byebyebuttcrumble #reduceyourcarbonbuttprint #bathroomselfie #sustainability#sustainableliving #sustainablefashion #bamboo #housewarminggift #householditems#cleaneating #cleanliving #cleanhousecleanmind

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The Aura Chef knife for $1,028.


The $309 eyebrow kit from Kristie Streicher that includes tweezers and scissors.


The $248 watering can from Skultuna.

 

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Is this the prettiest watering can ever? 🌱 Skultuna X StudioIlse

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The single tube of La Bouche Rouge lipstick for $217.


The Dr. Dennis Gross face mask for $576.

Getting into the ‘Ridiculous But Awesome’ section of the gift guide, there’s the $31,400 billiards table form 11 Ravens, but don’t worry, it’s also a ping pong table. Such a steal.

 

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When you purchase a table from 11 Ravens, you are purchasing peace of mind that your table will not only be manufactured expertly, but will also be delivered and installed expertly. This is our Malibu pool table installed in Cabo San Lucas just last week. One of our trusted installers flew down to Cabo from Las Vegas for the installation to ensure that this gorgeous custom pool table was handled with the expertise it deserves . . . . . #LuxuryFurniture #LuxuryBrand #CustomMade #Design #11Ravens #CoolTable #Game #LifeStyle #OneOfAkind #GameRoom #LuxuryLiving #LuxuryLifestyle #Contemporary #ContemporaryDesign #Modern #PingPing #PictureOfTheDay #Love #Billiards #Tabletennis #Pooltable #shuffleboard #airhockey #luxuryhomes #furniture #mancave #interiordesign #upyourgame #decor

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A book from Estzer and David that documents your family vacation for the totally reasonable price of $99,300. Take that, Shutterfly.


A custom plant and music installation from Data Garden for $33,100.

 

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Wow, what an amazing two weeks at @acehotelpalmsprings. Amazing artists and chill vibes all around. We even streamed the plant music from #datagardenquartet into the pool through an underwater speaker! . Thank you to the folks at Ace for bringing us out, @moogsynthesizers for providing some synths for guests to play with, to @maryoverthere for connecting us and to everyone bringing the high vibes to this desert oasis. . This installation will be up for a whole year, with plenty of activations and performances to come. Stay tuned here and @acehotelpalmsprings for updates and we’ll see you by the pool! . 📷 @williamkirkley . #midisprout #plantmusic #acehotelpalmsprings #desertgold

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And a $43,000 double smoker from Mill Scale for those low-key backyard barbecues.

 

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Rear view

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RELATED: Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness brand includes some Canadian inspiration