They say revenge is a dish best served cold, meaning you wait before you strike back, catching your enemy by surprise. Well, what’s a better surprise than to learn that you’re the subject of a hit song, and it doesn’t paint you in a flattering light? We’ve compiled a list of some of our favourite revenge songs for you to listen to and maybe even to inspire you. Not number three though, ok?
11. “Bad Blood” Taylor Swift
“I was going to go on tour with these dancers who used to work for Katy Perry, but then she wanted them back, and they were actually going to go back to her and wreck my tour, so I wrote a song about how mean she is! Oh, by the way, I’m 24, not 12.” Chilling stuff. Maybe just hire different dancers.
10. “Sweet Home Alabama” Lynyrd Skynyrd
“I hope Neil Young will remember/a Southern man don’t need him around anyhow” was a slap back at Canada’s national treasure for his song “Southern Man,” which attacked the racism he perceived in the South. But don’t take it too seriously, the two factions were actually fans of each others’ music.
9. “In the Air Tonight” Phil Collins
“Well if you told me you were drowning/I would not lend a hand” Ouch! Reportedly the song was a kind of revenge against all who had ever wronged him. Why don’t you tell us how you really feel, Phil…
8. “Since U Been Gone” Kelly Clarkson
“I can breath for the first time.” We don’t know who this one’s about, but man, talk about a stifling relationship.
7. “Irreplaceable” Béyonce
Allegedly about Jay-Z during a more troubled time, this revenge song obviously hit a nerve, as he quickly put a ring on it, and the rest is history.
6. “Cry Me a River” Justin Timberlake
What else do you do if you break up with [alleged cheater] Britney Spears but write a monster hit and quickly move on.
5. “F**k You” Cee-Lo Green
All righty then. Message received. Here’s a cleaner version.
4. “Before He Cheats” Carrie Underwood
Carrie goes the extra distance by taking revenge before anything has actually happened. Preemptive revenge.
3. “Goodbye Earl” Dixie Chicks
We’ve got to say, while we certainly don’t condone it, murder is pretty good revenge.
2. “You Oughta Know” Alanis Morresette
If you’re one of the dudes from Full House (Dave Coulier), and you cheat on an up-and-coming Canadian pop star, you might just rocket to number 1…and then become a punch line.
1. “You’re so Vain” Carly Simon
…you probably think this song is about you. There has been much speculation over the years as to who Simon was singing about – Mick Jagger, David Bowie, and Warren Beatty have all been tagged- but she’s never revealed whose vanity warranted such a scathing chorus.