The critically acclaimed BBC series Planet Earth II returned with a new season last night and scared the sh*t out of us. Has anyone ever said ‘sh*t’ on the BBC? We don’t know, but we were saying it a lot last night.
The premiere took 9.2 million viewers on a journey of terror and survival in the Galápagos’ Fernandina Island, in what was possibly the greatest and most horrifying scene in TV history. Move over, Glenn’s eye and the Red Wedding. At least we knew you were both fake.
The episodes’ main attraction was the intense two and a half minute scene between a young hatchling sea iguana, our hero, who went on a journey that included literally running for its life from a seemingly never-ending supply of Galápagos racer snakes, the enemy. We look forward to Peter Jackson buying the rights of this epic tale and turning it into a trilogy for the big screen. Maybe James Franco as the little iguana? That guy can play anyone.
During the two minute clip, we learned that the snakes, which have poor eyesight, responded to the iguana when it moved, making our screams at the TV to ‘run, run, run!’ actually terrible advice. While the marine iguanas can eventually grow up to five feet in length, baby iguanas are at risk of attack from raptors, crabs and as we saw in this nightmare-inducing clip, Galápagos racer snakes.
Even Sir David Attenborough’s soothing narration could not quell the all-out terror we experienced while watching one of the most shocking scenes in television history. We weren’t ready. Nature is terrifying, everybody should stay inside.
Okay, now let’s watch that clip again.