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Johnny Depp is now selling fragrance for Dior, and that for some reason requires a truly bizarre short film. The scent, called Sauvage, means ‘wild’ and ‘untamed’ in French. To address Mr. Depp’s wild nature and untamed hair, the film/commercial begins in a metropolis. Deep within the lit-up-like-a-Christmas tree Gotham, the camera trains its gaze on the former Willy Wonka playing a guitar. But he grows tired of such artistic pursuits and feels as though he needs to vanish. To get away from it all.

This crisis takes him to a desert, one where various oil pumps line the street.

He stares at one pensively, and even talks to it, as though it were a person.

Then he hallucinates seeing a large buffalo. For no discernible reason. American bison tend to live in semi-open grasslands, not scorching hot sun-blanketed death sand. We begin to wonder if Mr. Deep is an trustworthy narrator.

And then he just swerves his car, again for no reason. It isn’t even to address the buffalo, perhaps to ask it, “hey buddy, you don’t belong here, pal!” Some scary bird flaps its wings and Depp grabs a shovel.

Then comes the stripping of vestments. He is so forlorn, and just taking off all of his jewellery – mostly consisting of layers of gold necklaces, and a handful of gold rings. He throws them into a hole, that he created with the shovel. Why? Why does he hate his gaudy jewellery?

What is this man thinking? Is he wondering, “What a fine job I’ve done burying things I no longer care to look at. I am everyman.”

And then he cries through his mascara. This makes zero sense. What happened to the bison? Does anyone know where the necklaces are buried? Wanna go find them together and split the profits 50/50?

Perfume ads are weird. Check out the entire Dior Sauvage ad here.