If you’ve ever dreaded the moment when your partner asks, “Was it good for you?”, after a sack session, there’s a way to make sure the answer is consistently, “Yes!” (Cue the Herbal Essences commercial).
It turns out that the key to a hot and heavy sex life may have less to do with what actually happens between the sheets and more to do with what goes down afterwards.
Researchers at the University of Toronto surveyed several hundred couples about their after-sex behaviours and how it affected their overall feelings of relationship and sexual satisfaction in a two-part study.
They first found that the average time couples spent engaging in post-sex affection (i.e. kissing, cuddling, caressing and talking) was 15 minutes. In the second part of the study, they asked couples to cuddle for longer than average.
The discovery? Couples who spent more time basking in the afterglow of sex reported higher levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction. The level of overall happiness was not tied to the frequency of intercourse or gender — meaning both guys and girls reported similarly high levels of happiness no matter how often they were getting some. It was also found that cuddling created stronger relationship-boosting bonds for couples with children.
If you’ve been stingy with the spooning, it may be time to ban a number of bad post-coital behaviours from your boudoir. They may include:
1. The Beached Whale
Immediately rolling off your partner and passing out. (Nobody is THAT tired after orgasm!) Give your partner a gentle rub down and pull them in to spoon so you can pass out together.
2. The Black Hole
Immediately running the fridge to eat/drink something. We know you need to refuel but just keep some Gatorade and fresh cut fruit beside the bed, OK?
3. The Dirty Deviant
Immediately running to the shower to “cleanse” yourself. Seek therapy (or at least invest a fan or towel to help you cool down afterwards).
4. The 50 Shades of Social Media
Immediately turning to your laptop or smartphone to tweet about your hookup, or stream Orange Is The New Black. Make a “No technology in the bedroom” rule.
Make note lovers: Post-coital cuddling is a necessity for both parties, especially if you want to feel the fire the next time you’re getting frisky.The future of your relationship depends on it.