Christmas: It’s a time for family, chocolate and ugly, godforsaken sweaters.
Which explains why a painfully atrocious clothing item is flying off the shelves in Vancouver. Made to honour the Vancouver Canucks, the green and blue monstrosity is in position to make the save of the year. As retailers in the area grappled with slumping sports memorabilia sales, the $69 ugly sweater is selling faster than they can keep up. In fact, many stores are concerned about running out of them entirely before Christmas even arrives.
— St John Alexander (@ctv_stjohn) November 10, 2014
So what’s so special about it? It would seem that the sweater has crossed so far past the ugly line, that it’s starting to come back around the spectrum to be awesome again. Some people even think it should be worse.
“I think it should be uglier,” one woman says in the video above. “It should have sparkles and like glitter on it.”
But if you’re not a Canucks fan, don’t worry. There’s an ugly sweater for every hockey team out there, even the American ones. We’ve already taken the liberty of ranking them from most to least hideous, so you can get just the right amount of ugly on for the holidays (just keep in mind that there is more than one option for each team, so feel free to browse).
Now get out there and buy something nasty!
These new NHL holiday sweaters are so bad, they’re good
Minnesota WildNot even the Christmas colours could save this monstrosity.
Ugly factor: 98/100
St. Louis BluesThere's just something terribly plain about this sweater.
Ugly factor: 94/100
Columbus Blue JacketsCandy canes was the best they could do? Really?
Ugly factor: 89/100
Carolina HurricanesIf you want to horrify your friends, look no further.
Ugly factor: 88/100
Calgary FlamesThis is clearly the same sweater, just with one different pattern.
Ugly factor: 87/100
New Jersey DevilsOnce again, same sweater, different-coloured sleeves. Come on, NHL.
Ugly factor: 84/100
Arizona CoyotesThis one is getting there, but it's still just a little too dark. Where's all the festive cheer?
Ugly factor: 80/100
Dallas StarsThis one definitely feels Christmasy. But we can't go and declare an American team the winner, now can we?
Ugly factor: 76/100
Detroit Red WingsThis is all red, white and ugly. Unlike our flag, of course.
Ugly factor: 72/100
San Jose SharksThe colours on this one are actually pretty stylish, and the mismatch sleeves are a nice touch.
Ugly factor: 70/100
Anaheim DucksSure the ducks are cute, but this is hockey we're talking about.
Ugly factor: 68/100
Chicago BlackhawksPersonally, I'd spend my money on a different sweater.
Ugly factor: 64/100
Philadelphia FlyersOrange and Black? Halloween was in October, guys.
Ugly factor: 61/100
Vancouver CanucksWe think this Canucks sweater is better than the one featured in the video.
Ugly factor: 56/100
Washington CapitalsThe only thing this sweater is capital of, is monstrosities.
Ugly factor: 52/100
Colorado AvalancheIf you're a Colorado fan, this could be the look for you.
Ugly factor: 52/100
New York IslandersOrange, blue and white? This sweater is all over the place.
Ugly factor: 49/100
Montreal CanadiensNot a bad sweater, but it doesn't really capture the essence of the Canadiens. Are those supposed to be reindeer?
Ugly factor: 42/100
Boston BruinsGood job, Bruins. We'll give you that.
Ugly factor: 40/100
Ottawa SenatorsAgain with the reindeer. It's the Ottawa SENATORS!
Ugly factor: 39/100
Buffalo SabresAt least this one gets the logo right. Bonus points for that.
Ugly factor: 32/100
Nashville PredatorsSame sweater, inverted colours.
Ugly factor: 31/100
Pittsburgh PenguinsCrosby would be proud.
Ugly factor: 28/100
Florida PanthersYou can wear this without looking horribly awful. That's good, we guess.
Ugly factor: 24/100
Edmonton OilersIf we see reindeer on one more Canadian sweater...
Ugly factor: 20/100
Tampa Bay LightningCrisp, colourful, nice.
Ugly factor: 18/100
L.A. KingsNow we're getting to the nice sweaters. Finally!
Ugly factor: 15/100
New York RangersAlright Rangers, we can get behind this. As long as you stay behind Canada on the ice.
Ugly factor: 13/100
Winnipeg JetsThis is a nice, classic look from Winnipeg. Nicely done.
Ugly factor: 10/100
Toronto Maple LeafsThe Leafs desperately need a win, OK? Any win. You're number one, Toronto!
Ugly factor: 1/100