It’s an inevitable part of any actor’s career that at some point they have to use an accent to play a character. It’s also inevitable that many of them will be as bad at doing an accent as we are when Happy Hour starts to take its toll. There’s a long line of terrible accents scattered throughout movie history that are as hilarious as they are crimes against humanity (or, our ears, anyway).
We ranked the worst accents we’ve had the indignity to hear in the interest of making ourselves you feel better about that time you massacred trying to talk like Benedict Cumberbatch.
10. Julia Roberts, Mary Reilly
The Pretty Woman actress apparently worked intensively with a dialect coach to try and achieve an authentic Irish accent. We hope she got a refund.
9. Anne Hathaway, One Day
Ms. Hathaway no doubt had good intentions in tackling a Yorkshire accent to play Emma Morley, but you know what they say: the road to terrible accents is paved with good intentions.
8. Brad Pitt, The Devil’s Own
Brad Pitt’s Irish accent in The Devil’s Own isn’t actually all that horrible … for a Saturday Night Live skit about a Leprechaun.
7. Angelina Jolie, Alexander
To be honest, we’re not even sure what accent Angelina Jolie is trying to do in Alexander (Greek probably?) All we know is she sounds like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
6. Tom Cruise, Far & Away
We can’t help but get the feeling throughout Far & Away that Tom Cruise is really pleased with whatever he’s doing with this Irish accent. So, at least someone is pleased with it.
5. James Van Der Beek, Varsity Blues
Is Dawson Leery’s Texan accent mind numbingly terrible? Yes. But we’d be lying if we didn’t wish this had maybe been his accent for all of Dawson’s Creek.
4. Kevin Costner, Robin Hood
It’s generous to even call what Kevin Costner is doing here an attempt at an English accent. It’s like the director at some point just said, “Eh, you know what, Kevin? Just be yourself but throw in an old English word now and then and we’re good.”
3. Harrison Ford, K-19
We love Harrison Ford, but we’re not sure anyone should ever let the man do a Russian accent. He sounds about as convincing as Indiana Jones would be trying to infiltrate a Communist lair.
2. Keanu Reeves, Bram Stoker’s Dracula
We could give Keanu a break and imagine his bad accent is meant to be a satire of a stuffy, highfalutin British aristocrat. But we can’t stop laughing enough to do that.
1. Dick Van Dyke, Mary Poppins
If there were an Oscar for Worst Movie Accent, Dick Van Dyke’s terrible Cockney accent would have won it every year since 1964. It is the Citizen Kane of bad accents.