If you’ve been watching The Bachelor for as long as we have (Lorenzo from season 9 forever!), you know that the entrances on the first night are an important opportunity for the ladies to make a first impression and earn that coveted rose. We don’t know what was in the air last night (maybe it’s because Peter The Bachelor is still so beloved? Maybe it’s because it’s 2020?) but all bets were off when it came to entrances.
There were hot cars, letters from grandmas and framed pictures of their hairless… cats. Plus even more head-scratching inclusions like a cow (who we will from here on out respectfully refer to by her name, Ashley P.), windmills (cough) and Hannah B.
Peter Weber, of course, famously came in third in the last season of The Bachelorette with Hannah B., even though we all bet heavy on him as the favourite. What’s not to love? He’s a pilot! He’s tall, dark, and handsome! He’s a bit goofy and clumsy! So when it was announced that he was the new Bachelor, every doey-eyed lovebug could hope for was a happy ending for our beloved boy. But does his happy ending come with an emotional support cow?
Frankly we’d be disappointed if it didn’t.
— kv (@localmiddlepart) January 7, 2020
Hopeful romantic Jenna from Illinois showed up with Ashley P., her emotional support cow, and handed the reigns to Peter. While we’re already in love with dear Ashley P., we have so many questions. Are emotional support cows a thing? Where does one get an emotional support cow? How might one train a cow to supply emotional support? And if Peter really likes the cow, can she take home a rose instead of Jenna? Peter seemed so bewildered by the brief encounter that he almost had a cow. *tumbleweed*
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Making an entrance
The rest of the entrances were no less bizarre but we gotta hand it to the ladies for never being boring. We’ll spare you the details, but provide instead a brief overview of their oddball entrances.
Let’s see, there’s Suitcase Girl (she showed up zipped inside a rolling suitcase and emerged somehow without wrinkling her dress. Top marks for flexibility, but did she know there were limos?); there’s Paper Airplane Girl (she stuck the landing, now she just needs to land his heart); there’s Angel Wing Girl (Oh you’re a flight attendant? So is every other contestant, but you’re cute); there was Windmill girl (“Are you ready for round 5?!” she hollered, obvs referencing the multiple boink sessions he had with Hannah B. in a windmill last season); and there was The Hairless Cat girl (but let’s just be clear here, she wasn’t talking about no feline). Future contestants, be sure to crawl out of the luggage, but don’t bring any baggage!
Naturally, perhaps the biggest entrance of the night went to Hannah B., who made a brief appearance. Don’t act like y’all were surprised—her return was spoiled for us by the teasers, but what was she doing there? What did she want? Hopefully it was to tell Peter she made a mistake and wants him back! The look on Peter’s face as she emerged was one of shock, awe, and dare we say it, a lot of love. And maybe this isn’t the last we’ll see of her, but she wasn’t there for long. She gave him a huge and emotional hug, wished him all the best in his journey for love, and then gave him back the very pilot wings he had given her on their first night. Okay who’s chopping onions?
If the first episode is anything to go by, we’re predicting big things for Peter this season, as long as he knows how to milk a cow.