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There’s a dildo terrorist at large on the subway
He’s hung, and he’s dangerous. A witness told ANIMAL that an older man boarded a subway in New York, who he suspected of being on drugs, causing some people on the train to laugh and gather round for selfies. But as soon as everyone got close, the man whipped out a massive dildo and started waving it around. In fact, every time the train would pull into a station, the man would put the dildo away, sit quietly and let people board. Then, as soon as they got comfortable, out came the oversized sex toy once again. The witness said the man didn’t seem threatening.

Top Saudi Sheikh issues bizarre fatwa allowing men to EAT their wives if they are hungry
Mmm, Soul mate. In yet another stunning display of women’s rights, if men in Saudi Arabia get hungry these days, they’re now free to munch on their wives. That’s at least according to Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah, who allegedly issued the bizarre guidelines. While they haven’t been confirmed, the cleric is reported to have said that the ruling represents the “sacrifice of women and obedience to her husband.” The controversial Muslim leader has previously called on all churches to be destroyed.

Bobcat Catches Shark Off Florida Beach
Who’s king of the sea, now? Florida photographer John Bailey captured an image of a bobcat walking along a beach with a shark hanging out of its mouth. Bailey said he saw the animal actually leap into the ocean before dragging its prey onshore. The sad part, however, is that the bobcat didn’t even end up eating the shark. Bailey said he later saw the animal drop it and take off.


Man Drives Drunk From Courthouse Right After Being Convicted Of DWI
Is there a problem, ociffer? Authorities say a man from Buffalo, N.Y. was drunk when he drove away from a courthouse where he had just finished being convicted of driving while intoxicated. Deputies say that J.B. Silverthorn was drunk during the court appearance itself and was warned not to attempt driving home. That’s when Silverthorn allegedly got right back in his car, and pulled out of the parking lot before being stopped by police.

Hunter fined after shooting himself in the toe
Talk about literally shooting yourself in the foot. Richard Chamberland was wrapping up an unsuccessful hunting trip when he returned to his brother’s car for the trip back home. Unfortunately though, Chamberland never unloaded his 12-gauge shotgun, which then discharged in the vehicle. The shot went through his big toe as well as the floor of the truck, and the toe later needed to be amputated. And if that wasn’t enough, he was later fined $750 for discharging a firearm without due care and attention and $750 for having a loaded firearm in a vehicle.

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