Sure it takes days for the Lannisters or the Tyrells to travel across Westeros’s seven kingdoms; Arya and The Hound did spend an entire season sauntering across some fields after all. But what if there was a quicker way to be reunited with your family before a horrific wedding feast, or march an army of Unsullied across far off lands to reclaim a prickly throne even faster?
These must have been the questions plaguing designer Michael Tyznik when he gave the Game of Thrones world the transit makeover with these intricate maps that double as wall art (you know you want them all). Clearly, Jaimie and Brienne should have just zipped across the X13 on their way from Riverrun to to King’s Landing, and they would have saved themselves a severed hand in the process. Think about how much Hodor’s posture would improve if he could put Bran down on a transit line every once in a while, or about the sheer number of prostitutes Littlefinger could pimp out across all the lines. Then there’s also the fact that Varys would have about a hundred more spy tunnels to slink around in.
The attention to detail is pretty inspiring. From the “restoration” of Harrenhal and the discontinued service to Valyria to the entire closure of Wall Line, this map has us wishing the Montreal’s STM, the TTC in Toronto or Vancouver’s TransLink could always be this organized–at least these maps tells us when to expect delays. Heck, we wish the stops were even as creatively named (Dreadfort, anyone?). And is anyone else picturing Cersei smuggling on a variety of poisons in an attempt to frame some poor conductor, or Sansa riding along blissfully watching a romcom on her iPad or listening to Meatloaf crooning about doing anything for love?
Upon closer inspection, we suspect the many special touches make these posters– one of Westeros and one of The Known World, which includes Essos—something any GoT fan would need to add to his or her collection. Plus they’re a lot more practical than trying to ship Valyrian Steel, Milk of the Poppy or a Direwolf. We’d still take a Dragon Egg any day, though.