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Thief tries to steal ATM … with stolen forklift
Stealing an ATM just wasn’t enough for this guy. He made sure to steal the supplies he was going to use to steal the ATM! The creative crook first swiped a 10,000 pound forklift from a construction site and drove it about half a mile to a nearby bank. We know he failed though, because both the forklift and ATM were left at the scene.

Petition growing to re-erect Satan statue in Vancouver
Because who wouldn’t want a lewd Satan statue setup right in their backyard? On Tuesday morning, SkyTrain riders noticed something strange on their morning commute: A 3-metre-tall statue depicting Lucifer touching his private parts. Once city officials found out, they quickly took it down. But now there’s a petition circulating to bring it right back.

Woman born without a cerebellum baffles doctors
No big deal here. The cerebellum only contains 50 PER CENT of the brain’s neurons! A 24-year-old mother in China who complained of nausea and dizziness left doctors stunned after they figured out what was responsible. A small but major part of her brain that controls things like movement and balance was missing, and had been replaced with cerebrospinal fluid. While people have been born without a cerebellum before, most of them died quite young.

Man sleepwalks off cliff, wakes up alive
Talk about a rude awakening. An Ohio man out on a camping trip sleepwalked right off a 60-foot cliff. Ryan Campbell only suffered minor injuries because a bush happened to break his fall. But he still went to hospital with facial trauma and a head laceration.

Gummy penises recalled after parents just cannot deal
Mmmm, gummy penis. Parents in New Zealand were feeling pretty sour once they saw their children eating the sex-themed treats. Even though there was only about one gummy penis in out of every 20 or 30 bags of the candy, the uproar was enough to force the seller to issue a recall. Looks like there won’t be any happy endings for those candies.