If a boy has a crush on a girl, he lets her know by teasing her, chasing her around the playground and pulling her pigtails. You know, the usual shenanigans that make zero sense. Because if he wants positive attention, he should be doing positive things, right? Well, in fifth grader Zoë’s case, she wants NO attention from the boy who apparently is crushing on her. But Noah’s persistent. So she issued him a set of “Rules of Regulations,” a list that has since gone viral because, well, you’ll see.
My friend who's a 5th grade teacher just sent this to me! I'm dead!!! pic.twitter.com/FSDBxs9Vtq
— Denny Dimples (@WhosDenverJones) September 15, 2016
Who knows what Zoë has said or done before this. Perhaps she started off subtly, quietly ignoring him, not wanting to make him feel bad. But when he kept grinding away, a list of rules was her only option. Or maybe she was straight-up from the get-go and told him, no holds barred, that he needs to back that truck up. And maybe he still didn’t get it.
It’s been a few days and we wonder if Noah is heartbroken and already moved on to the next girl. Or maybe, just maybe, he’s just tripling his efforts in hopes that Zoë will eventually cave. Who knows? All we know is that Zoë is a boss and her list is something we all need to make copies of, laminate and hand to every man who doesn’t get the hint.