Move over Toronto’s dead raccoon, and Toronto’s doughnut-stealing raccoon. We see you, too, raccoon that thinks it’s a dog, but your moment in the spotlight is also over. Say hello to the Internet’s most famous raccoon of the moment: raccoon who attempts to wash cotton candy, only to panic after it dissolves in water in seconds. Here it is:
We feel for the little furball, we do. We’ve all been there. One moment something is there, and the next moment it’s gone. But we cannot stop watching this seconds-long video. It’s truly symbolic of so much of what life throws at us, and the raccoon has no idea how poetic it really is. Here are all of the scenarios this little “trash panda” symbolizes:
When your paycheque arrives, but you’ve already spent it.
When you see a hot person in real life, but before you get up the courage to say something, he’s gone – forever.
When Word crashes, and all of the work you’ve done didn’t auto-save. All 3,000 words of it.
When you lost your keys, even though you stubbornly believe they should be in that place you left them.
When after two hours, someone comes and just hands you your keys, and you realize how you won’t get that time back.
When you spend another hour accusing that person of stealing your keys, and then realizing you won’t get that time back, either.
When your kids leave home, and you believe they are never, ever coming back
And when you just sit there on the stoop, imagining, ‘that’s it, I’ve lost them to gangs and drugs, now.’
When someone tells you you’re being foolish, and they’ll be back. So you get your hopes up. Then you realize they are ‘just at college’ but in another province.
When you realize you’ve spent at least 30 minutes watching this raccoon video over and over again, and it’s now 5 p.m.
When you get home from work and watch another 30 minutes to an hour of this raccoon, then realize your family is at the dinner table waiting patiently, but you have not made your famous lasagna like you’d promised. In fact, you haven’t even started.
When your family orders pizza and is angry with you, so you sit at the kitchen island drinking red wine, watching more of this raccoon. Then you wake up the next morning, with wine mouth, and realize it’s time for work and you definitely need a shower. And yet there is no time. There is never any time.