Butts, butts, butts. Let’s talk about rumps, shall we?
We’ve all got one. They come in big and small sizes, some people like them spanked and they are essential for, um, cleansing. So, when this week became an unofficial bacch-anal, how could we not celebrate? For some reason, celebrities decided to make it rain sweet, sweet ham this week. And even this happened for some reason. So, let’s look back at the week of butts, beginning with its inception:
Justin Bieber’s Butt Bait
Justin Bieber was on a boat. And when you’re on a boat, you feel free. You wave your arms around while wearing loose white blouses, you listen to Pitbull and you laugh joyously with friends, all in bikinis and all drinking some sort of sexy beverage. But if you’re the Biebz, you take it one step further and you strip right down. You give the world a show. You wait for just the right golden moment when the light perfectly bounces off your two cheeks, take a photo and then hit post to Instagram. Then you get 2 million likes in the span of like a day.
That was simply the beginning. But no two butt displays are alike, and sometimes they might not even be intended (or are they? Who can say?). Which brings us to…
Nicky Hilton’s Butt Flirt
Fashion foibles can be super hilarious. But Nicky Hilton was probably not laughing when her butt was hanging out of her dress at Paris Fashion Week. From behind, you begin at her shoes: Louboutins, red bottoms. Then, as your eye travels along her sinewy figure, you reach one of several tiers of sheer fabric. Open that window and look inside, and what you see is the bottom of Nicky Hilton’s bottom. Maybe it wasn’t intended, or maybe it was. But it’s butt number two in this week of butts.
And mistakes happen. Truly, they do. But what wasn’t a mistake was John Legend’s posterior showing up on the Internet. Which brings us to…
John Legend’s Butt-Off
Fresh off the heels of Justin Bieber’s butt stunt came John Legend‘s ass. But it wasn’t posted by the Legend himself, it was posted by his lover (and John’s butt’s biggest fan, probably) Chrissy Teigen. We think it is a much more universally appealing butt, to be honest. Which is why it is a total shame that this hot bottom has only received a lowly 193,000 likes on Instagram. It’s almost a butt-related crime, really.
And finally, we get to a Kardashian-Jenner butt. Because this couldn’t be a week of butts without one of those…
Kendall Jenner’s Butt Gets Paid
The most recent butt news is from the world of fashion. Kendall Jenner, the face, side boob and butt of Calvin Klein, has appeared in a new ad for the company. And those cheeks of hers are busting out. Cheeky!
And that’s it for this week’s Week of Butts. But the week isn’t over yet, so if anything else should happen, don’t worry: We’ll get to the bottom of it.