Tim Hortons, man, you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd.
Ever since locations have been opening up south of the border, things have gotten weird with Canada’s beloved coffee chain. Just days after the company decided to like, marry Burger King (what were you thinking??) they went and gave birth to these:
— As Eaten On TV (@AsEatenOnTV) August 27, 2014
What are they, you ask?
The spawns of hell They’re the new “Buffalo Crunch” doughnuts. Served exclusively at the New York State Fair, this Franken-doughnut consists of pull-apart yeast that’s dunked in Buffalo sauce and crusted with chips.
Mmmm! Oh wait..
Doughnuts with chicken wing sauce?! *GAG*
What’s next, a Fripper (A whopper/apple fritter) What about Fryfees? (coffee-flavoured fries). Or maybe they’re just going to start sticking burger patties inside doughnut holes — a Douger!
Because why not? We’re in crazyland now!
Seriously though, Timmy, you used to be cool. Timbits? Awesome. Iced Capps? Great. Buffalo-doughnut-abominations? Not so much. At least now that you and Burger King are married, you plan on moving back up here to start a family. Hopefully, that’ll get you away from all of those bad influences.
And then us Canadians can go back to enjoying our double-doubles.