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O’ Christmas tree, O’ Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches. But you know what’s even more lovely? Branches that aren’t weighed down by too many ornaments. And a colour scheme that isn’t just “erratically placed things anywhere.” There’s a simple, five-step solution that all of the greats use – you can pick your theme, your ornaments and your colour scheme, but in order for everything to come together, it takes a little precision. Precision in this case doesn’t mean “exceedingly difficult,” either. You’ll find the tree-trimming steps so simplistic, you’re going to kick yourself for not always doing this. Follow this tree-trimming gospel, and you’ll stand before your Tannenbaum this year beaming with pride. And your friends, family and neighbours will be seething with jealousy. Who’s the queen of Christmas? You are.

CHRIST