Well folks, America’s presidential candidates have done it. They’ve finally come up with the most laughable campaign promise of any U.S. election.
Are you ready to hear what it is?
Republican contender Scott Walker recently announced that the idea of building a giant wall between the U.S. and Canada is a “legitimate issue worth considering.”
That’s right, a giant wall between the allied nations of the U.S. and Canada is ranking right up there with other important issues like the economy and security. For the record, the wall would be covering a boundary that is considered to be the longest unguarded international border in the world–a product of Canada’s longstanding peaceful relationship with its southern neighbour.
Clearly, it’s time to fortify that $#!%.
Making this idea a reality would require the construction of a wall stretching 8,800 km (roughly the same length as the Great Wall of China) at a cost of what we could only assume would be billions upon billions of dollars. So forget Detroit, rising student debt, international wars or rampant poverty–what the U.S. really needs is a massive wall to cut them off from a friendly nation.
Here’s the kicker though: Walker isn’t the only one who wants to wall up the U.S. Another Republican hopeful, Donald Trump, is keen to construct his infamous “Great Wall of Trump” down by the U.S.-Mexico border, effectively boxing the country in.
In other words, folks, these are the faces of geniuses:
Walls don’t exactly have much of a history of being beneficial though. Just consider how successful Germany’s Berlin wall was leading up to the 90s (the Great Wall of China, by the way, didn’t exactly deliver on its purpose either).
So why is Walker so keen to build up up the border? He’s never dwelled on the issue much, but his comments about the possible Canada-U.S. wall were in response to a question about terrorism, so we can assume the two are related (Canada’ such a hotbed for that kind of activity after all, amirite?).
While they’re at it, Trump and Walker should also consider walling up America’s coast then. We hear some terrorists out there are figuring out how to swim and even use boats. We can only imagine the untold horrors they could bring with them.
Not surprisingly, there have been some interesting reactions to the idea on social media. Some Canadians actually think a wall would be great:
I'm totally fine with a wall dividing Canada and the U.S. Have you seen what goes on down there?!
— Mike Morrison (@mikesbloggity) August 30, 2015
@PatOndabak I'm starting to warm up to the idea of a wall. It will keep us safe from free-roaming right-wing lunatics.
— albertarabbit (@albertarabbit) August 31, 2015
— John Clark (@jiclark2002) August 31, 2015
Canada might even consider building its own wall in response:
In related news Canada plans to build a wall along U.S. Border to keep Donald Trump out https://t.co/7qO5J2Hify
— Scott Brimble (@S_brimble) August 16, 2015
Other people noticed the obvious insanity of such an idea:
Walker open to wall on Canada border. That's 3,987 miles, plus 1,538 miles between it & Alaska. U.S.-Mexico is 1,933 miles. This is nuts.
— Mary Beth Schneider (@marybschneider) August 30, 2015
Also, LOL at needing a border wall between the U.S. and Canada. Let’s build a retractable roof over the country while we’re at it.
— Chris Vannini (@ChrisVannini) August 30, 2015
We're thinking Scott Walker might be high, but at least his plan would kept Ted Cruz and Justin Bieber out of the… http://t.co/KhUciVrFib
— FreakOutNation (@FreakOutNation) August 30, 2015
But this guy seems to hit the nail right on the head:
A wall between the U.S. And Canada could only be meant to keep us in. But in the end I think that is what all walls do though.
— jeremy walker (@jbootwalker) August 31, 2015
See you on the other side, America.