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Even though ride-sharing company Uber may exist in Canada illegally (for now), they’re already sizing up some other competition outside of the taxi driver and car service pools. Uber has big plans – so big that the company believes you’ll be ready to clear out your driveway and garage for them.

Christopher Schafer, Uber Canada’s public policy manager, was in Ottawa recently, and he revealed that their goal was to expand into delivery and carpooling services at costs so low that it’ll be cheaper than owning and maintaining your own car.

“You want people in cities living car-free or car-light lifestyles, either completely or more often?” Schafer asked rhetorically. “The only way to do it is by offering a product that can compete on cost with personal car ownership.”

Well, Uber’s bold, you have to give them that.

While it makes sense for those who don’t already own cars and rely on public transportation and taxi services, it seems a little absurd for the company to expect people to give up their cars completely to use their service. Especially those with families. Families with kids. Multiple kids. Or families with dogs.  In fact, we have a few questions for you, Uber, because we don’t know if you’ve thought this through:

Will you have all the toys to keep the younger kids occupied?
They especially like the loud ones with no volume control.

Are you prepared to sing along to every Taylor Swift/Katy Perry/One Direction song that comes on the radio?
Because you need to know all the words, otherwise my kid will pitch a fit if you’re only mouthing the words and not actually singing.

Are you OK with cookie crumbs, bits of cheese and the odd grape and juice spills in your back seat?
The only place my kid will eat healthy is in the car, so she can’t not eat.

How comfortable are you with that couple arguing in the back seat?
Sometimes, debates can get heated and we even like to throw things. Just be prepared to slam on the brakes, because she’s been known to storm off on occasion and she doesn’t care where — busy street corner, bridge, highway off-ramp.

Do you mind waiting around for us?
Our after-school activities often run late and Johnny doesn’t have a phone to let you know when he’ll be ready.

Are you willing to pull over multiple times throughout the ride because one of us is sick?
Sometimes Janey gets car sick and needs to stop, get out and breathe every few minutes.

Are you willing to stop so our kid can go to the bathroom?
Janey has a small bladder and can’t hold it. If you can’t, no worries, but there may be a mess. Not sure if that’s our responsibility or not, but since you didn’t stop…

Uber might change its mind after reading these questions. And there are more, we’re just holding back. For more on Uber’s current stance and goals in Canada, watch the video, above.

But what about you?


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