Say what you will about Vladimir Putin, but the man knows a thing or two about impressing the ladies.
Not only did a 2012 poll find that one in five Russian women want to marry him, he’s often portrayed as a sex symbol in movies, media and on t-shirts. Did we also mention he’s 62 years old?
Not bad, gramps.
Luckily for you, we’ve been keeping quite a close eye on ol’ Putin this year (frankly, it’s been hard not to), and we think we’ve figured out the secrets to his success. At long last, here is his guide to picking up women:
If you’ve got it, flaunt it
And yes, bring a horse
You may not be able to afford it, but Putin’s choice of animal was no accident either. It’s all a calculated part of the plan. Just ask the Old Spice Guy:
Always carry a spare blanket
Never leave home without one. Seriously, the Chinese president almost lost his wife over this after Putin swooped in to warm her:
Don’t believe us? Just look at her smile, and that arm placement! The chemistry is undeniable. Not to mention German Chancellor Angela Merkel was practically swooning when he brought one out for her:
— Sana.I (@Sanaa_Ijaz) November 11, 2014
Blanket = phone number. Never forget.
Go after what you want (even if the whole world is against you)
We don’t have anything nice to say about Putin’s campaign in Crimea, but we suppose there’s something manly about someone who can take on the whole world without flinching. Let’s call it “confidence.”
— Canada at NATO (@CanadaNATO) August 27, 2014
On that note, learn martial arts
Taking a selfie? Add some danger
Now send those selfies to prospective dates
Balance your outer ruggedness with your inner teddy bear
Let’s watch that one more time in slow motion:
That’s right, topless ladies are literally THROWING THEMSELVES at Putin. He must have that magic touch.
What a gentleman.