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Say what you will about Vladimir Putin, but the man knows a thing or two about impressing the ladies.

Not only did a 2012 poll find that one in five Russian women want to marry him, he’s often portrayed as a sex symbol in movies, media and on t-shirts. Did we also mention he’s 62 years old?

Not bad, gramps.

Luckily for you, we’ve been keeping quite a close eye on ol’ Putin this year (frankly, it’s been hard not to), and we think we’ve figured out the secrets to his success. At long last, here is his guide to picking up women:

If you’ve got it, flaunt it

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We’ll start you off easy. You know that shirt you’re wearing? Take it off — Hulk style. Let those sagging chest muscles rock-hard pecks hang right out. Aww yeah.

And yes, bring a horse

You may not be able to afford it, but Putin’s choice of animal was no accident either. It’s all a calculated part of the plan. Just ask the Old Spice Guy:

Always carry a spare blanket

Never leave home without one. Seriously, the Chinese president almost lost his wife over this after Putin swooped in to warm her:
The blanket man

Don’t believe us? Just look at her smile, and that arm placement! The chemistry is undeniable. Not to mention German Chancellor Angela Merkel was practically swooning when he brought one out for her:

Blanket = phone number. Never forget.

Go after what you want (even if the whole world is against you)

We don’t have anything nice to say about Putin’s campaign in Crimea, but we suppose there’s something manly about someone who can take on the whole world without flinching. Let’s call it “confidence.”

On that note, learn martial arts

Now that you’ve gone and pissed off the entire planet, you’ll need some self-defence skills. After all, women love a fighter.
Judo

Taking a selfie? Add some danger

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The most interesting man in the world doesn’t always appear in photos. But when he does, there’s a near-death experience somewhere in the background.

Now send those selfies to prospective dates

Dates
Nothing will get her engine running like sagging muscles and danger.

Balance your outer ruggedness with your inner teddy bear

This is where things get tough, so we’ll let Putin demonstrate. This is what we mean by “outer ruggedness”:
Manliness

Now this is “inner teddy bear”:
Teddy bear

Now here’s how women react when they combine:
Ladies man

Let’s watch that one more time in slow motion:

Flashing

That’s right, topless ladies are literally THROWING THEMSELVES at Putin. He must have that magic touch.

What a gentleman.

giphy