It’s the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the yearrrrrrrrr. No, not the holiday season—it’s Jimmy Kimmel’s “Mean Tweets” time! The time we get to watch celebrities writhe and squirm as they read out the most unadulterated, cruel and downright torturous tweets from the Twitterverse at large. So far not a single celebrity has survived. It’s the gladiator games of tweets. And we are HERE FOR IT.
On Wednesday night, Jimmy Kimmel presented the sixth Music edition of “Mean Tweets,” meaning all the targets of the bloodbath were musicians, and boy was it nice to see them squirm (we love ’em, but come on, 280-character internet critiques can get pretty funny). This time on the slaughterhouse menu, we have Billie Eilish! Green Day! Chance The Rapper! Alice Cooper! Lizzo! Cardi B! And that wasn’t even all of them.
What’s always entertaining is the accuracy of some of those tweets. Billie Eilish was on the chopping block first, and as she sat there with a grim look on her face (how out of character), reading out, “Billie Eilish dresses like she got her clothes stolen at the gym so they gave her what they had in the lost and found bin.”
Where’s the lie?
When Green Day was up for its public flogging, the critique stated simply, “Why does Tré Cool from Green Day look like the emo version of Ted Cruz?”
*Does the math.* Yup, this checks out (plus it’s been a thing on Reddit for years).
The best part of the segment was hands-down Lizzo who always brings the spice to the bland party. With eye makeup so fierce, we need a defibrillator, she read, “Lizzo. Bus passes and happy meals. Two things that I imagine #Lizzo has seen a lot of.” As Lizzo might say, “WOOO, child.” First of all, how dare you insult our Queen? Secondly, our Queen just did her hair toss (checked her nails) and baby she CLAPPED BACK. Follow that up with Cardi B wondering (loudly) why a Twitter user would call her “loud” and we can barely handle the majesty of it all.
Other great tweets directed at John Mayer, Chance The Rapper and more were read out, but perhaps the deepest cut of the segment went to everyone’s beloved heavy metal dad, Alice Cooper.
“Alice Cooper looked 65 in 1972 how is he still alive?”
Tough but fair.