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Warning: A little piece of your childhood will die today. Sesame Street‘s beloved Fix-It Shop co-owner Maria, who has been making kids smile for 45 years, won’t be returning to the neighbourhood next season. But with this retirement announcement, comes even bigger, earth-shattering news.

Maria isn’t really Maria.

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Her real name is Sonia Manzano.

Sonia! As in, not Maria!

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We weren’t the only ones left reeling from the news. Other loyal viewers were just as shocked by the revelation and, like us, are now left questioning the meaning of life:

But the truth bombs don’t stop there. Get this:

Gordon’s real name is Roscoe

Luis is actually an Emilio, and Mr. Hooper went by Will Lee in real life.

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We’re done. We’re actually done. Way to destroy our childhood, Sesame Street.

But in all seriousness, we’ll truly miss you, Sonia (or whoever you are). You’ll always be Maria to us.