“Weird Al” Yankovic is well known for creating parodies of chart-topping songs, but he has another hidden talent. His hilarious music videos are also riddled with life advice that we all need to pay attention to.
In his video “Tacky,” a parody of Pharrell’s “Happy,” Al recruited some big names including Jack Black and Modern Family’s Eric Stonestreet to help teach us some very important lessons about how to be a grown-up:
1. Stripes plus plaid are a no-go.
2. Even though it looks delish, try not to Instagram every meal you’re about to dive into.
3. Please, for the love of god, don’t put your used Lincoln bible on display.
4. Don’t be that person who asks someone out to a show and then makes said someone pay.
5. Wearing a belt with your suspenders is not practical and it’s clearly a fashion faux pa.
6. Don’t wear socks with sandals. Bad things will happen to you.
7. Toss those glitter UGGs out right now and those “lovely” pink sequin socks too.
8. Remember that time you did a huge favour for your best friend in 1986? Stop constantly bringing it up!
9. Never ever build an outfit with 20 different pieces (in a variety of colours).
10. Do not ask this question under any circumstance: “Are you pregnant or just really fat?” It’s rude!
11. Oh, you’re best friends with Kim Kardashian and you also grabbed brunch with Gwyneth Paltrow? Good for you! Now stop freaking bragging about it.
12. Button up your dress shirt. No one wants to see your hairy chest. And please don’t pop your collar.
13. You’re ageing yourself if you wear your Ed Hardy shirt with florescent orange pants…
14. Forget about getting hired if your resume is printed in Comic Sans. You’re not cool.
15. Don’t ruin your shitty waiter’s life by sticking them with a bad Yelp review.
16. Pink costume jewelry…What are you, like, 5 years old?
17. Those fire print shirts you own need to be set on fire.
18. Everyone’s laughing at your car. Remove those 43 bumper stickers and that YOLO license plate a.s.a.p.
19. The reason you don’t have a partner is because you bring your coupon book to all your dates.
20. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing that bejewelled fanny pack ironically. Take it off.
21. You’re not seriously twerking at the DMV (Ministry of Transportation for us Canadians) are you?!
22. When you see free samples being given out at the grocery store, take one or two — not 28 or 104.
23. Don’t get drunk at the bank and take off your shirt. You already know that’s gross — unless you’re Ryan Gosling.
24. It’s oh so disrespectful to live tweet a funeral AND take selfies with the deceased.
25. If you’re bitten by a zombie, LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW. God help us all.
UPDATE: Al also has a bone to pick with those of us who are really, really bad with our words. His video “Word Crimes,” a parody of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” offers some advice on how to, you know, not butcher the English language:
26. You should know when it’s lesser or fewer. They are not interchangeable.
27. Saying “I could care less” means that you do care…
28. Every1 wIlL hate u if u tYpe like dis.
29. It’s is a contraction for it is or it has. Its indicates possessive. Learn the difference.
30. Irony is not coincidence. It’s really not.
31. If you don’t know how to use the word ‘literally,’ you should literally never say it again.