Some headlines make you happy, others make you sad.
Then there are the ones that just leave you straight-out flabbergasted. We’ve rounded up the week’s most shocking news headlines so that you can take in all that surprise at once. You don’t even need to read these stories to be entertained, but you can if you want to. Check them out below:
Artist arrested over 3D vagina kayak scan
Er…3D vagina kayak what now? An artist in Japan crowdfunded a project to — get this — make a kayak using a 3D model of her vagina. We’re not sure how sea-worthy her makeshift vessel would be, but it didn’t take long for authorities to arrest her under the country’s obscenity laws once she e-mailed the 3D printer data of her scanned vagina to 30 people.
Dude takes out 2nd mortgage to pay for penis enhancement surgery
An Australian man suffers from a rare medical condition known as “micro-penis.” When fully-erect, it measures in at a whopping 7 centimetres. Naturally, the guy is pretty desperate to extend his mandhood — at a cost of over $100,000.
Connecticut man arrested after stabbing watermelon
The poor melon never had a chance. A man was arrested after his wife went to the police to report finding drugs in his toolbox. When she came home, she says she found a watermelon on the counter with a butcher’s knife in it. Once her husband entered the room, she says he silently began carving the fruit in a “passive-aggressive” and “menacing” way.
12-Year-Old Accused Of Second School Bus Theft In Past Month
This kid from Florida is seriously badass. Not only did he allegedly steal a schoolbus for the second time, he stole his family’s car just to get to it. By the time police caught up with him, the 12-year-old was 55 miles away from home.
Lottery Winner Must Share $1.7 Million Jackpot With Psychic Waiter
This story has wacko written all over it. A waiter in England had a dream that he was showing a bunch of cash to his manager. The next day, he pestered his boss until he purchased a lottery ticket. Once his boss won, the waiter felt entitled to half the prize money. A court battle ensued, and the waiter (surprisingly) won.
Romanian Princess Admits Running Cockfighting Ring in Oregon
Princesses and cockfighting normally go hand-in-hand. The royal heir and her husband were both arrested for staging illicit animal fights on their ranch. The pair rented portable toilets, sold alcoholic drinks and even hired someone to cook Mexican food for the event.