Lindsay Lohan is currently getting her court-appointed community service taken care of, but she’s not the first person who has been required to clean graffiti, pick up trash or don an orange jumpsuit. Celebrities, they’re just like us! But seriously, before LiLo worked through her hours, there was Naomi Campbell, Chris Brown and Paris Hilton. But what does one wear to hold a spike-ended stick to collect trash? And how does one accessorize with a telescopic paint roller, used to paint over graffiti that is defacing public property? Well, it turns out, celebrities do not understand what to wear at all. Don’t do these things the next time a court orders you to serve your time (outside of jail):
Don’t wear a flirty little black dress with your cleavage hanging out
This isn’t supposed to be fun and flirty. It’s supposed to be inconvenient, arduous and rehabilitating. Lindsay Lohan looks like she dressed for a photo opportunity after a night out at Chateau Marmont, not to help kids at a California community centre.
Don’t wear heels
Chances are, you’re going to be putting in long days. Sometimes, those long days are going to be under the hot sun. So, while dressing light (if you can) is certainly great for comfort, don’t be Paris Hilton and accessorize with cute heels. No matter how cute you think they are, they are just not right for the occasion. Despite what Cannes thinks about flats, this is a great opportunity to pull out a favourite, comfy pair. Seriously, Paris, your heels are digging in to dirt and you are making us very uncomfortable.
Community service doesn’t mean you show up in dirty clothes, but you should consider the tasks to come. If you’re going to be in the mud or dirt, pick clothes that are easy to wash, or ones you wouldn’t mind getting a bit dirty. You definitely don’t want to pull a Naomi Campbell and show up in couture (although, she probably wouldn’t balk at the idea of throwing it in the garbage). There is no conceivable community service where this would be comfortable. Like, seriously, a T-shirt with jeans is usually enough. This isn’t a red carpet, it’s your punishment for doing a bad, bad thing. (Yes, she’s a smoke show, but honestly…)
Don’t egg on the person who filed charges against you
Your clothes are not an opportunity to do a little viral marketing while you’re hitting rocks with a hammer. Seriously, if someone was responsible for getting you arrested in the first place, it’s probably best that you don’t sport a tank top with their face on it while you work through your hours. Take aggressive celebrity “prankster” Vitalii Sediuk as a cautionary tale. You should not be like him, because Brad Pitt was probably not laughing. And Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt. Make amends, don’t poke the bear.
And now you should be ready for your first day of court-appointed community service! Remember to make friends, and to avoid the mistakes of the celebrities who came before you.