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Valentine’s Day means different things to different people. For the unhappily single it can mean building a fort with your couch cushions and hiding out until all the smitten couples go away (whereas for the happily single it can mean, well, Sunday). For the paired-off there can be a lot of pressure to do the perfect thing/buy the ideal gift lest your love think you don’t truly care.

To make it a little easier for everyone, here are a few ideas for what to buy your heart’s desire on this Valentine’s Day and (fingers crossed) every one after that.

YOUR FIRST DATE (ON VALENTINE’S DAY)

Having a first date on Valentine’s Day is insane – there’s lots of pressure to fall in love and you probably won’t be able to get a reservation anywhere cool. But if you insist on being able to tell your kids about how you knew he/she was “the one…AND ON VALENTINE’S DAY NO LESS,” then you like things traditional, so why not give the traditional gift of love… chocolate?

Skip the Hershey’s kisses and go for something a little classier like the “Heart Box” from Canadian chocolatier Stubbe. It won’t break the bank, but it will show your love-to-be that you’ll go the extra mile on your long journey together through life.

$19.50, Stubbe

candy
Stubbe

YOUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY (ON VALENTINE’S DAY!)

Now the pressure is really on – it’s a double-whammy of expectations to have your one-year-this-really-matters-this-could-make-or-break-our-relationship present also be your Valentine’s Day present! There’s zero room for error, so ya gotta go classic, and there’s no better store for classic than everyone’s favourite place to eat breakfast – Tiffany(‘s). If you’re a pro athlete or a Rockefeller, you can afford the Elsa Peretti Open Heart Mesh Pendant. If you’re a mere mortal, the Heart Pendant will do just fine – as long as it’s heart-shaped and comes in the little blue box, you’re golden. And ladies, they’ve got cufflinks, too.

$80 – $198,000, Tiffany & Co.

pendant
Tiffany & Co.

YOUR THREE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY (ON VALENTINE’S DAY!)

This is a crucial Valentine’s Day/Anniversary. Hopefully you and your loved one will find a nice quiet place to celebrate amid the swirling haze of “So, when are you two getting engaged?” Three years can be tricky. You like it, hey, you may even love it, but if you’re not ready to put a ring on it just yet, you better get a gift that’s so incredible that your partner won’t throw a fit of anger that the thing inside the box isn’t a ring. Take your partner out of town. Ste. Anne’s Spa is a good bet, and they offer an overnight couples getaway. Book a few nights and a couple’s Swedish massage and your love will be so relaxed they’ll forget you’re too chicken to seal the deal.

Ste Anne’s, $339 to $557 per person, per night (includes $120 in spa and wellness allowance, breakfast, 3 course lunch, afternoon tea, 4 course dinner and full use of the facilities).

trip
Ste Anne’s

YOU’RE SINGLE AGAIN (ON VALENTINE’S DAY!)

You thought you had met the one, but you got tired of waiting for a real commitment and broke it off. Good for you! Nobody makes you wait. You’re a special person who deserves love, happiness, and someone who truly appreciates you. You are NOT gonna let anyone walk all over you. You’re the one who does the walking! And you’re gonna walk right into your next relationship wearing these totally bitchin’ Michael Kors boots! And since they’re black, they won’t show any stains from the tears you WON’T BE CRYING!!!!

$278, Browns

boots
Browns

YOU’RE BACK TOGETHER (ON VALENTINE’S DAY!)

Who were you kidding? After an 11-month break, you ruined your new boots with your own tears as you sprinted back into the arms of your one true love. This Valentine’s Day, you’re reunited and it feels oh-so-good. But this is a critical time in your relationship, and the wrong gift could have you re-downloading all those terrible dating apps you recently deleted from your phone. This time around you want your love to last forever, so why not buy something that actually will? Have a star named for your betrothed with the Canadian International Star Registry. A package will arrive with an official certificate, and a sky-chart showing the exact coordinates where your darling’s eponymous light will shine for all eternity.

$100 plus shipping & taxes Canadian International Star Registry

space
Canadian International Star Registry

YOU’RE ENGAGED!!!!! (ON VALENTINE’S DAY!)

It was all worth it! You weathered the relationship storms and now you’re basking in the sweet light of being newly enfianced. You got engaged on New Year’s Eve at the stroke of midnight in front of all your friends, and even your arch nemesis had to admit it was the most romantic thing she ever did see. By this date next year you’ll be hitched, so this will be your last Valentine’s Day gift as an unmarried couple. Spend some money on a good bottle of wine – you can never go wrong with an Argentinian Malbec. Give it to your love with the mutual promise that you’ll open it together on Valentine’s Day ten years from now when both the wine and your love have reached a beautiful new maturity.

$100, LCBO

wone
LCBO

YOU’RE PREGNANT (ON VALENTINE’S DAY!)

You wasted little time. You did what rabbits and newlyweds do and now you find yourself with a little bunny in the oven. Congrats! You and your love are going to make a human person, with an actual beating heart – which is far more meaningful than any heart-shaped anything that money can buy. So do yourself a favour and give yourself some time to be with your most significant other because pretty soon you’ll be spending every waking hour (and some half-asleep ones too) caring for your new addition. Time costs nothing, and it’s the best thing you can ever give anyone ever. *

$0 , Time

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Shutterstock

*but you might want to pick up one of these to give your Valentine (and your baby) in case they call BS on your whole “time is priceless” routine.